


Spies and Gods

by SighingStarbeam



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Character Development, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Harm to Children, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Brainwashing, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Plot, Porn With Plot, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide mention, it'll get dark in a few parts, mention of suicide, reader is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SighingStarbeam/pseuds/SighingStarbeam
Summary: You were raised in a world of captivity and lies as a trained spy under the command of Hydra. A few years after a facility you were being held in was destroyed in the battle of New York, you needed to seek answers starting with Tony Stark. After arriving at the Avengers headquarters you meet a few members, including a god of mischief.





	1. Seeking Answers

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first reader insert fanfic as well as my first smut fic. Sorry in advance when the smut comes it might not be great but I'm trying and hopefully I'll get better after I write more. Please leave a kudos and a comment if you want more!

It was just a few feet away. The answers you’ve been so desperate for could possibly be behind the doors to the Avengers Tower, priorly known as Stark Tower.  Glancing up and down the tall structure you admired the architectural work that was put into the building. You took a sharp inhale followed by a long exhale of breath before you treaded towards the entrance.

You were about to open the door when suddenly a red light emerged in front of you and appeared to be scanning your body head to toe. “Welcome. Please state your name and purpose.” A robotic female voice announced over a speaker. From the sound of the voice it appeared to be automated.

“Uh, Y/N. I’m here to see Tony Stark.” you say with wavering confidence.

“Do you have an appointment with Mr. Stark?” Okay, so maybe the voice is an artificial intelligence of some sort.

“No, no I don’t, but it’s really important. I need to ask him a som-”

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Stark is not accepting anyone who does not have an appointment. If you would like to schedule an appointment the wait list will take approximately one to two months to process.”

“Two months? I can’t wait that long. I need to see him _ASAP_ , preferably right now. ” You weren’t sure how long you would have another opportunity for this. For all you know, this moment might be your only chance to see the infamous Tony Stark.

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Stark is not accepting any-”

“It’s okay FRIDAY, send the kid in. Almost done here anyway.” The voice of a man interrupted the robot followed by the sound of the door unlocking, allowing you in. You opened the door and looked around the room. Everything was in boxes stacked on top of each other except for some sofas and a few tables. “Top floor, elevator’s to your left.” The same voice echoed around the bare room through the speakers. You saw the elevator doors open just for you.

Stepping inside your nerves finally caught up to you after the doors closed and you pushed the button to the top floor. You’ve repeated what you’ve wanted to say over a million times in your head but you still couldn’t bring yourself to ask it out loud. _You’ve rehearsed this, you’ve rehearsed this. You’ve been through much worse than this, how hard could it be?_

The elevator made a sharp dinging noise and opened its doors upon arrival to the top floor. You hesitated before stepping out to find more boxes and furniture ready to go. Across the room was none other than Tony Stark, the multi-million dollar businessman who saves the world in a metal suit from time to time. He was with two other men, one who was standing by a table across from Stark who had dark hair, wore a pair of glasses, and a purple button up shirt. The other man appeared to be a mover as Tony was signing some papers from him while the man with glasses was overlooking some other files.

“Don’t be shy kid, take a seat we’re just wrapping up.” Tony motioned his hand to one of the couches.

You looked at the most comfortable looking one and sat down. You didn’t know where to look so you glanced at about everything from Tony and the stranger to the near empty bar on the side of the wall. Tony noticed you looking at the few bottles of liquor left, “Feel free to pour yourself a drink, trying to get rid of as much as I can anyway without killing myself from alcohol poisoning.” His tone sounded sarcastic yet serious, but you remained seated. The thought was tempting since you needed something to calm your nerves, but if you were going to vomit you’d rather have nothing come up rather than the burning feeling of booze.

“You’re probably already doing that to yourself every weekend you go to a party.” The man from across the room looked up at Tony, “You still seem a bit hungover from last week.”

“Two weeks ago actually. That prime minister of, wherever, had some strong shit.” Tony patted the mover on the shoulder and thanked him, turning his attention to you as the mover entered the elevator and left. It was just you, the man, and Mr. Stark alone in the near empty room. “So what’d you want to ask that was so important, kid?” Tony sat down on another couch across from you, the other man only glancing your way a few times as he read on. “You a superfan, reporter, assassin sent to kill me?”

“No, I’m none of those. I mean I am a fan of your work, with the Iron Man suit and stuff.” You felt like a little kid seeing Santa at the mall for the first time. Not that you’ve ever seen Santa in the mall, let alone be in a mall when you were a kid. You were raised to not believe in fairy tales, that they would cloud your vision from the real world.

“Impressive, right? Guessing you want one, but I’m afraid to say it’s kind of an exclusive thing. Not for the general public, I’m sure you can understand.” Tony stood up and went to the bar, pouring himself something dark in a glass. “What’d you say your name was?”

“Y/N. My name’s Y/N.” He gestured if you wanted a glass, in which you shook your head no. He shrugged and strode his way back, kicking his feet up on the coffee table that filled the space between the two of you. You would prefer that the two of you would be alone without the other man in the room, but having someone else in the room eased the tension in a way of what might happen next. Now’s a better time than any to say what you needed to say, “This is going to sound really strange, and it’s probably best that you stay seated.” Tony raised an eyebrow out of curiosity and straightened his posture a little bit. You took another breath, “I don’t think I can reword this any other way, so I’m just gonna say it. I think you’re my dad.”


	2. Like Father Like Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've managed to tell Tony Stark that there's a possibility that you're his child, but he's not quite taking the news too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So quick note even though this is AU I still wanted to try and incorporate the actual timeline from the movies including Infinity War.  
> Basically where the story is at timeline wise is Civil War did happen but Tony decided to call Steve and get the rest of the team back before Infinity War ever started. Thanos hasn't located the Tessaract (yet), meaning Thor and the rest of the Asgardians managed to get to Earth like was originally planned.  
> Also side note the reader's age isn't mentioned but is suggested to be about 21+.

Tony’s face was stone solid. His body was visibly tense and his grip on his glass was so tight that if he were to squeeze a little bit more it would shatter in his palm. The other man’s expression was a bit less dramatized as Tony’s, but you could still feel the same intensity.

You didn’t know what else to say. Honestly you didn’t prepare to get this far, so all you did was wait for a response from your possible dad. Was he going to kick you out on the spot? Was he going to come to terms and accept it? Or maybe he’ll laugh at you and call you a liar.

After what seemed like forever Tony finally managed to murmur a sentence, “Banner, could I talk to you in the other room for a second?” He stood up glass in hand and made his way to a door to another room. The man you now know as Banner followed close behind but not before taking a final look at you. The moment Banner stepped in Tony closed the door. At first there was silence, until you could hear muffled conversation. You couldn’t tell who was talking or what exactly they were discussing, but you assumed it was about what to do with you.

* * *

 “Tony, tell me what you’re thinking.” Bruce said after about a minute of silence in the room. He made sure that the door was completely shut just in case Tony wanted to use a few of his favorite profanities so it didn’t bother you.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what to think.” Tony sat down on top of a desk, closing his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingers. “I’m already under a lot of stress right now with moving, the stupid prototypes for the team, and this, whoever she is, is not helping.”

“You want to talk to me about stress?” Bruce tried to bring some comfort to Tony, but his expression only showed annoyance. “Okay, I didn’t realize how much this really bothers you. Don’t you get a million people claiming to be related to you?”

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed, “I’ve had a few women I might’ve spent a night with once demand money for their kid claiming to be mine but turns out their kid is nonexistent. But I mostly  get a bunch of teen girls asking for me to be their ‘daddy’, and trust me I’m flattered, but no.”

“So you’ve never had anyone directly say that they’re your kid.” Tony nodded his head and put his head in his hands, slowly growing frustrated on what to do. Bruce crossed his arms and thought for a minute, “She does look a little bit like you. It’s possible that you’re her d-”

“Stop. Stop right there and don’t say it.” Tony snapped, pointing at him, “Don’t say the dad word. Dammit, I said it.” He put his head back in his hands. So many thoughts were running through his head. If you were really his kid why would you confront him now? Maybe you were really a psycho that was about to demand for money. He was sure that he was careful with all of the women he was with. Moments passed until Tony shot his head back up, “Do a DNA test on us.”

“What?”

“Take some of our blood, spit, hair, whatever and do a DNA test. See if I’m actually her… you know, to see if she’s legit. I’m too cooped up with Avengers stuff to deal with this, I know you can do it.”

Bruce chuckled sarcastically, “Do you really think one of my PhD's is qualified for me to do that?”

“Yes.” Bruce looked at Tony in disbelief, “Don’t tell me you aren’t able do it.”

“No I’m way more than qualified to do a simple DNA test.” Bruce said defensively, “It’s simple biology, even some B average high schooler could do it.”

“Good, you’ll do it.” Tony stood up from the table and patted him on the shoulder, “I think we have some extra vials and other stuff needed tucked around here. I’ll expect the results on my desk.” He headed towards the door to pitch the plan to you.

“I’m not Maury you know.” Tony looked back with a cocky smile while exiting the room.

* * *

 The conversation lasted for about five minutes with a few rises and falls of their voices, especially Tony’s. You sat there awkwardly, fiddling with the fabric of your pants until the two returned. You looked at them and stood up, waiting for one of them to speak. Tony went directly back to the bar, refilling his glass, this time nearly to the brim. He took a few sips turned away from you and Banner. You couldn’t handle the silence any longer. “Well?” you said.

“Tony and I talked,” Banner said, standing in front of you, “and we think that we should do a DNA test to see if he really is your-”

“Ah! Don't.” Tony interrupted.

“If you two are… related.” Bruce glared at Tony, “Only if that’s okay with you.”

Well, at least he didn’t throw you out. At least not yet. “Yeah I’m fine with it.” Actually, this was better than what you hoped for. Not only were you able to at least meet the man who might be your dad, but an actual DNA could prove it.

Tony finished the rest of his drink in one go, then slammed the empty glass on the counter. “Bruce, could you be a dear and get the equipment for the test?” Tony didn’t look at either you or Bruce. He kept his gaze on the surface of the bar counter. Bruce turned to Tony, then nodded his head silently and left. The second Bruce left the room Tony turned his attention to you,“So tell me, Y/N, was it?” He turned around and leaned back against the table, “What’s your game plan here?”

“My what?” you asked, sincerely not knowing what he was talking about.

“You know, what do you expect after all of this?” He crossed his arms and approached you, his stance making him seem taller, almost like he was trying to be intimidating making you straighten your back a little. “Do you expect me to give you money? Or to live with me and cheer you on when I take the training wheels off of your bike? How about I tuck you in at night and read you a bedtime story.”

His tone was growing more and more irritated with every sentence as well as your heart rate. You were feeling rage slowly fill you as he spoke mockingly, but you decided you needed to stay calm, for yours and his sake. “I don’t want shit from you except for the truth. My entire life I’ve never had a clue who my dad could be until your name popped up. You were my only lead. If the results show negative, whatever. If it shows positive, I’ll finally know and can have one question out of my mind. Either way I’ll be out of your life when this is over.”

Tony stared at you, almost like he was processing what you said. His demeanor lightened up and he backed away. He rubbed his chin while walking to the window. Glancing out he stayed silent, deep in thought. You wondered what he could be thinking, but you had a good idea he wasn’t going to apologize.

“Who was your mom?” he finally asked.

You hesitated. You grew up without meeting your mom, but you knew who she was and what she has done that forcefully shaped you into who you were now. Stories were told of her and what she accomplished, making her to be your predecessor. The expectations were high to keep, if not then to raise the bar of her legacy.  “Her name was Aubrey Y/L/N.”

Tony kept his gaze out the window, but seemed to lock onto something to stare at as the thought. “I know a lot of Aubrey’s and I don’t really keep tab on-” His eyes shot up as his memory of your mother came to his head. “Wait, Aubrey Y/L/N… Dammit I knew her. We went to college together.”

You looked at Tony with hope in your eyes. Maybe he could tell you more about her. What she was like, if she was anything like the stories you were told, or perhaps if she could’ve been the type of person who was capable of staying with her family. However, you didn’t want to ask too many questions. You needed to figure out if he really is your dad, and asking directly what she was like could lead to him prying into your private life. “I’m glad you remember.”

“So how is she nowadays?”

Shit. This was exactly what you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to lie, but you didn’t want to tell him everything, not right now. “I never met her. She left when I was born and put into the system.” At least most of it was true.

Tony turned away from the window to look at you. There was something in his eyes that actually showed some compassion, “Sorry kid.”

“It’s okay,” you shrugged, “I want to know another thing though, what was she like?”

He walked back over to you, this time with less intimidation. He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. You sat down on the spot and focused on him. Looking at him closer you started to notice his facial features you didn’t see before. How his wrinkles moved whenever he expressed something, the way each strand of his dark hair with a few grey streaks moved along his head, even his brown eyes and how they seem to shine for how dark they are. Your mind wanted to wait for the test to see if you two were related, but you could feel something deep down that said he was for sure your dad.

“She was something, I’ll tell you that.” Tony sighed, “We dated for a bit in college. Aubrey was funny, smart, straight A’s but not as smart as me smart, but she had heart.” He smirked, only causing you to smirk as well, “I can’t really tell you much else because graduation night came a couple of weeks after we started dating, I was still attending but she was finishing her bachelors. We went out partying to celebrate and…” You stared, waiting for him to finish his sentence. Realization come to his eyes. “We uh… did stuff that night. And the next day she left me a note saying goodbye. Usually I’d be the first to do the walk of shame, but I didn’t know that would be our last night together because I never heard from her again. I figured she was halfway across the country living her life.”

“Did you try to call her at all?” Your anger started to fill up again. “Write a letter, get in contact with someone she knew, anything?”

“I thought she was spending her new life somewhere else where she was happier.” Tony snapped, “If she wanted to get in touch with me she would’ve. Besides, she was just a fling.”

His last words struck you like a bullet to the heart. You’ve never met your mother but you knew she was much more than some chick he could mess around with. “She wasn’t just an occasional one night stand, she was an actual person. What if something happened to her and you were the last one to see her?” You stood up, your fists were clenching but with all of your energy you restrained yourself from punching something.

Tony stood as well, looking you straight in the eyes, “You were born, weren’t you? So nothing happened to her after that night.” You crossed your arms in annoyance and turned around. At this point you were acting like a stubborn teen but you couldn’t care less, “You wanna be mad at me? Fine. But so what if I didn’t contact her? She said goodbye to _me_ , so that was that. So don’t get pissy with me for moving on.”

Suddenly the door opened with Bruce carrying some science looking tools like syringes and vials. “I got the…” He felt the tension in the room the moment he stepped in. “Should I come back later?”

“Nope. Let’s get it over with.” Tony went to the bar and sat on a stool, rolling his sleeve up for Banner.

You stood in place in silence, arms still crossed in anger.

Banner unwrapped a syringe from a packet with no question. It seemed like he knew Tony enough to know when to stay quiet and do what he says. You knew they were part of the Avengers, but you couldn’t place on who exactly Banner was. Maybe he was just a scientist that worked with them and a good friend of Tony’s. Whoever he was, this would probably be the last time you would see him until the test results were in.

Banner stuck the needle inside of Tony’s arm and began to draw the dark liquid of blood which he then injected into a vial. You’d expected some sort of reaction of pain from him but he was still, almost like he was used to being poked with needles. Although, he is an inventor, so maybe he does some experiments on himself involving them. Either way, you weren’t excited for what comes next for you.

You’ve had shots before. Quite a few, actually. So you thought you would be used to needles as well as Tony, but when Banner opened a new syringe and went over to you for your turn, you hesitated before rolling up your sleeve. The moment the sharp needle pierced your skin you winced, but tried to relax as the blood filled the syringe.

It was over before you knew it when you realized Banner handed you a cotton pad to clean your wound. You pressed the pad against the mark where the needle pierced you, knowing it’ll be a bit sore later. Tony on the other hand simply wiped his wound once and tossed the used gauze onto the counter.

“Okay kid. We’ll call you when we get the results.” Tony plopped down from his chair, throwing away the gauze.

Banner took out a piece of paper and wrote something down. He handed the paper to you, on it what appeared to be a phone number. “You can call me in about two to three weeks for the results. Or text. Or whatever people do nowadays.”

You smiled. It made you feel better that Banner was trying to be the better person in the room, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to do that.”

“Wait two to three _weeks_?” Tony interjected, “Can’t you get it done by tonight?”

“It takes time to do a DNA test, Tony.” Banner said, “I technically could do it in one night, but I’m only one person and have a lot of other stuff to do. And like you said, you’re too busy to do it yourself too.”

"It's okay if you take your time." You said, taking his attention away from Tony, "I'm just grateful that I got a chance to even do this." You extended your hand, in which Banner gladly shook it. "It was nice to meet you. And I look forward to seeing the results." You eyed Tony, his face expressionless. It was almost like he was waiting for you to go, so you showed yourself the elevator.

“You got a place to stay?” Tony spoke up before you stepped into the elevator. You were surprised that he was interested, almost like he cared. What if you said no? Maybe he would offer for you to stay there despite the move, but saying no would be another lie.

“Yeah, about ten minutes from here.”

“Oh, good. Then you can get a taxi or something.” Tony placed his hands in his pockets and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with you. And for a moment you thought he was actually being generous, but instead he wanted to be an egotistical jerk one last time before you left. You gave a forced smile to the men as you entered the elevator, pushing the button closing the doors.

* * *

 The two watched the doors close in front of you, once you were out of sight Bruce crossed his arms and glared at Tony. “What the hell was that?” He questioned.

Tony looked at Bruce, raising a brow in confusion, “What’d I do?”

“I don’t know, acting like a complete ass to her?” Bruce began to put away the blood and syringes carefully into the box, “She just wants to know the truth.”

“Or she could be lying  to try and get money from me.” Tony poured another glass of alcohol without even seeing what he was pouring.

Bruce crossed his arms while rolling his eyes in annoyance, “Are you deliberately trying to make her seem like she’s in the wrong? Yeah, I get it that it might be scary to find out you have a long lost kid, but it doesn’t mean that you can act like a jerk to her. And for what? Just to turn out like your own father?”

“I’ll never be like my father.” Tony hissed, “He was the one when I was growing up that was never there for me. Why should I all of a sudden be there for some kid claiming to be my daughter?”

“So that’s what this is about,” Bruce said, lowering his arms, “You’re trying to distance yourself from her so she won’t come back. Even if she’s your kid or not.”

Tony stayed silent, gently swishing his drink in the glass until he broke the silence, “I don’t want to end up like my dad. He was rarely there for me, and when he was it was to make some snarky comment or to humiliate me. If she really is my daughter I know I’ll turn into an exact copy of him. Hell, I’m already halfway there.”

Bruce sat next to Tony at the bar, staring directly into his eyes, “Then prove yourself wrong. You do that to everyone else. Prove to yourself you won’t end up like him.” Bruce patted Tony on the back in reassurance.

Tony smiled in return, then finished his glass and stood up. “Okay, time to make it right then.”

* * *

 The walk home seemed longer than normal. You were tired physically and emotionally from your little discussion with Stark. Sure, you didn’t expect it to go rainbows and sunshine, but at least it didn’t end in a fist fight or the authorities. Now that you thought about it, if he wanted to kick you out he could’ve done it the second you told him. Maybe he would’ve gone all the way and put on his Iron Man suit to force you out. As cool as that sounded, you really didn’t want to fight a metal man.

It felt like forever until you arrived at the apartment building you were squatting in. The building was about six stories tall and very worn out, while some bricks embedded in the wall stuck out. A few of the windows were either cracked or broken entirely with some makeshift duct tape attempting to cover the holes. The walls on the side were nearly coated with ivy that was a rotting brown from lack of treatment. This is the building you called home, at least for now.

You lived with two other girls, Maya and Lilly, in a cramped two bedroom apartment. You met them a few months ago when they distracted an on duty cop when they noticed you were trying to steal a bag of chips from a gas station. You ran into them one more time since then when you saw them at a bar being hit on by two sleazy guys. You warned them that you would break their elbows if they didn’t back off. They should’ve listened. Ever since then they swore to be your best friends and even offered you to stay with them since they knew you were struggling on your own. You’ve only been living with them for about a month, but you were so comfortable around as if they were your family. Deep down you knew you couldn’t stay with them much longer. You were raised not to make any close relationships, that they will tie you down and cloud your head. But you were free now. You could do whatever you wanted to do. However, the back of your mind kept stabbing your with the thoughts of what you were once taught.

You opened the creaky front door, greeted by a snoring Maxwell that sat behind the front desk who was supposed to be watching the front door. You smiled, as this was a routine you were accustomed to. You jogged up the stairs to the third floor instead of taking the rickety elevator, which was probably a safer bet due to its condition.

As you made your way to the apartment, you glanced at the dirty floor and stained walls. You could hear the couple above you argue like they usually do, and the middle aged man adjacent from you’s TV on full blast like always. But another noise caught your attention, the sound of a bottle smashing the floor. It sounded like it came from your apartment. Your instincts kicked in as you sneaked your way to your door. You noticed the door was slightly ajar. Carefully you slid your hand on the rough wooden door and opened it. To your relief it was Elliot, Lilly’s boyfriend that she’s been seeing for a few weeks.

“Holy shit, Elliot. You scared me.” You said, putting your bag on the table next to the door, “I thought you were a burglar.”

“Oh, hey uh… Maya?” He slurred, he was clearly tipsy.

“Y/N. So close though.” You joked, taking your jacket off and lazily throwing it on the sofa. You looked around the messy apartment and noticed the other two weren’t there. “Where’s Lilly?”

“She went out to get more booze and stuff.” He swayed your way, balancing himself on the sofa. His face was inches away from yours, you could smell the bitterness of whatever he was drinking, “But we could have a bit of fun while she’s out.”

You stepped back and slipped pass him. This was an occasional thing that he would do, but you knew he was just drunk. You made your way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “I think I’m just gonna get some food and head to bed. It’s been a rough day.”

“So you like it rough, huh?” You felt his hands against your shoulders as he slid them down to your waist. You closed the refrigerator door and turned to him, grabbing his hands gently taking them off of you.

“You really don’t wanna do that.” You warned, his eyes piercing at you.

“But I oh so do.” He snatched his hands away and before you could even react he pinned you against the counter. You struggled to get away, but his hips held your waist against the edge of the counter, the corner of it digging into your lower back. His hands gripped your wrists against the surface as he pressed his forehead and pelvis against you. “I just want some fun. It can be our secret.”

“Dude, get the hell off of me!” You yelled.

Before you could kick him, a familiar face approached behind Elliot. The figure tapped him on the shoulder, making him turn around to face none other than Tony Stark. This was probably the only time you were glad to see him again.

“How about you let the girl go, and you can keep whatever’s under the belt in one piece.” Tony said calmly.

Elliot laughed, “Mind your own business and get the hell out.” He turned back to you and attempted to kiss you on the neck. Before his lips touched your skin he began to seize up. You realized he was being tazed by Tony. In an instant Elliot collapsed on the floor, still twitching from the electricity. You looked to Tony, on his hand seemed to be a metal glove, maybe a part of his Iron Man suit.

“Okay kid, long story short I’m sorry I treated you like shit.” He grazed his bare hand over his gloved one, the metal retracting into a thin bracelet around his wrist. “Now let’s get going.”

You looked at him puzzled, “What? Where are we going?”

He took your hand, helping you step over the still twitching body of Elliot, “Like hell you’re staying here. It won’t be permanent, but it’ll be better than being near Twitchy.” You didn’t argue with that, so you grabbed your bag and jacket and let Tony escort you out.

The two of you exited the building, a shiny Ferrari parked just outside of the entrance. It was tacky, but damn you’d be lying if you didn’t think it was cool. Tony opened the door on the passenger side allowing you in. You slid in and put on your seat belt, the door closing behind you. Tony soon entered the driver's seat and revved the car, the engine purred to life as he accelerated the ferrari down the road.

A few minutes passed of nothing but silence. You didn’t really know what to say since this all happened so fast. Tony Stark coming in to save the day felt like something straight out of the news, but this time he wasn’t saving a train or burning building full of people. It was just you. Some girl he met only a few hours ago who claimed to be his kid.

You couldn’t take the silence anymore, “Thank you.”

Tony stared at the road. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking until he spoke, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are we going back to the tower?” You asked.

“We don’t have any beds there.” He said, making a turn that passed the tower.

“Where are we going?”

“The closest place I know that’ll keep you safe. Avengers Headquarters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I wanted to try and squeeze another chapter out before work got busy in the next few weeks. Plus I was really excited to write this chapter and get to the Loki/Reader parts asap which'll happen soon, I promise!


	3. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets to go to the Avengers HQ and meets some new people, including a god of mischief, as well as reuniting with a face that she thought she'd never see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you saw from the previous chapter yes I did change the name "Gwen" to "Lilly" because I figured there was already a Gwen in the Marvel universe that was pretty popular. Also thanks for being patient for some reason it was tough for me to crank this chapter out but my brain couldn't do words good and work has been busy lately. Also did I mention this was gonna be a slow burn fic? Enjoy.

It took you a minute to process what Tony said. You couldn’t believe that you were about to go stay in Avengers Headquarters,  _ the  _ Avengers Headquarters. So many thoughts were running through your head, one of them was if you were going to meet any of the Avengers. You especially wanted to meet Captain America. You had so many questions you wanted to ask him about the 1940’s since he was  _ actually  _ there. But you secretly fangirled over Natasha Romanoff, who was by far your favorite Avenger. She might not have superpowers like the others, but you’ve always looked up to her for being capable of protecting herself while simultaneously kicking ass. You grew giddier by the minute but forced yourself to hide it from Tony.

There was only one thing that didn’t make sense to you. Why would Tony bring you there of all places? You didn’t want to ask and risk not going to see the headquarters, but it was odd that he didn’t send you anywhere else. You decided to risk it.

“So why Avengers Headquarters?” You asked, “You can just drop me off at a motel. I’ll be fine and I’ll even pay for the night.”

“I could, but I figured HQ was a bit nicer than some sleazy hotel like the Hilton.” He made a sharp turn, the engine lightly roared, “We’re like a hotel, but cooler.” Tony’s eyes lit up, “That has a nice ring to it. ‘Avengers Headquarters: We’re like a hotel but cooler’. Don’t steal that I’m officially trademarking it.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “I won’t, I promise.” He smiled back, a flicker of delight surrounded him.

The rest of the ride was silent, other than some rock music playing through the stereo. You looked at your phone in your pocket and realized you had a dozen texts from Lilly and Maya.  _ Dammit _ ,  _ they’re probably worried sick.  _

[Lilly]: omg girl where r u??? 

[Lilly]: maya found elliot on the floor 

[Lilly]: we think he had a seizure

[Lilly]: nvm hes up

[Lilly]: holy shit did iron man really taze him???!!!

[Lilly]: omfg im sorry elliot was such a dick i kicked him out 

[Lilly]: hello???

[Lilly]: pls respond

You thought about what to say to her. They knew you were going out that day, but you weren’t exactly honest with your intentions. Your phone buzzed and your battery icon showed you only had ten percent left. You at least wanted to send a message telling them you’re okay.

[You]: i’m fine, staying somewhere else for the night. battery almost dead i’ll tell you everything later.

You were relieved that Lilly made sure you were fine, but you felt guilty for not telling them where you were or why you were out. They’ve been so nice to you and all you’ve done was keep secrets from them. Hopefully once this whole fiasco was over you would go back and apologize, maybe even make it up to them somehow. 

So much was running through your head. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice Tony pull up a gravel driveway. Looking up you saw it, the Avengers Facility that was home to most of Earth’s mightiest heroes. 

You gaped at the sight. The structure was ginormous and seemed to be attached to another building. Aircrafts were laid about on platforms, you figured they were some sort of jet wings or something similar. You’d be lying if you didn’t want to fly in one of those. The area was surrounded by trees, making the building seem far more advanced in comparison to its surroundings.

Tony looked at you with a small gleam in his eye. He seemed to adore that you were fascinated about the building, and you haven’t even set foot in it yet.

The car pulled up to what seemed like a slanted glass wall. Tony rolled down his window and stuck his head out, a small machine scanned his face. “Welcome home, smartest Avenger.” the familiar female voice said. Of course it would say that. Tony slyly smirked as the gates opened with an immense creak, you rolled your eyes well knowing he programmed it to say that every time. The doors opened horizontally, allowing Tony to drive in. 

The doors closed behind you as lights lit up to reveal the room. There were multiple vehicles parked around. Cars, trucks, a few motorcycles, and even a huge Hummer that could be mistaken for a military truck. Maybe it was military given where you were. 

Tony swung the car in a spot a little too harsh, making you grip the passenger seat. He then turned the engine off and exited the car, you followed behind. “So, whaddya think so far?” He asked.

“I’ve barely seen anything and it’s already a lot,” you said, “but it’s really cool.”

“Thank you.” Tony said, opening a glass door for you, “I made a lot of modifications when we first moved in. Everything was so out of date dinosaurs would’ve called it vintage.” 

“How old is this place?” you asked.

Tony hesitated, then he spoke, “This used to be a warehouse built by my dad. He kept a bunch of Stark equipment here until it was abandoned. Then I figured we needed a base of operations and boom, here we are.”

You stepped through the doorway to be greeted by a large white room with tall windows. The floor was plated with grates and mirrors mixed into the floor. Most notably in the room were a pair of jets sitting right in the middle like they were decor, but you knew they were used due to the fuel tanks next to them. You turned to look at Tony and saw the Avengers symbol of an ‘A’ high above the doors. “Wow, you guys sure know how to decorate. It’s almost like an Ikea ad.”

You could’ve sworn that you heard him chuckle, but you were distracted by more voices coming from the other end of the room. It sounded like two men, but you couldn’t quite hear what they were saying.

Tony went ahead so you followed. The two of you approached the source and you almost yelled in excitement. Right in front of you was Captain fricking America. It was weird not seeing him in uniform, but you didn’t mind the white t-shirt that showed off some of his muscles. 

He was talking to two other men. Where they were standing you could only see the Captain’s face while the other two’s backs were turned to you. All you could tell was that one was slightly taller than the Captain, had short blonde hair, and wore a denim jacket, while the other man was about the same height as the blonde haired one but had intensely dark hair to his shoulders. The dark haired man stood out like a sore thumb, not just because of the hair but he also wore a completely black suit. 

You looked at Tony, who was now walking ahead of you, and noticed that his mood changed entirely. One moment he was eager but now he seemed vexed. He didn’t show it much but you could tell in his eyes that something was different. Maybe it was because of the men the Captain was talking to. 

The Captain noticed the two of, “Welcome home, Tony,” he shifted his attention to you, “I see you brought a guest with us tonight.”

The other two men turned around to see the new visitor to the Avengers HQ. The blonde haired man gave you a welcoming smile. You weren’t sure but you swore you’ve seen him before. His face was familiar but you couldn’t place a name. 

Meanwhile your eyes met with the dark haired man. His face seemed uninterested but his green eyes were focused directly on you, like they were trying to study who you were. You were good at reading people, but this man wasn’t like the others. He seemed different than the rest, not because of the way he looked but his eyes told a story you couldn’t figure out. They seemed full of emotion while the rest of him was stoic. 

You focused on him for what seemed like eternity until Tony spoke, “Yep. She’s an exclusive guest with us tonight.” Tony looked at the Captain, “If you would be so kind Jeeves and show her a room, I’d like to catch up with buzzcut and Hot Topic wannabe here. I’ll fill you in later.” The dark haired man rolled his eyes while the blonde haired man laughed. The Captain sighed, then patted the blonde haired man on the back. He walked past you and you followed, looking back at the two men, especially the one in black.

The Captain opened a door for you, making you feel giddy again. Now it’s just the two of you walking down a corridor. You looked around and admired everything about the building, how sleek the walls and floor were, you felt like you were in a futuristic setting in a book. 

“Tony must trust you a lot to let you stay the night,” the Captain said, pushing a button to an elevator, “how do you two know each other?”

“I think he’s my dad.” You responded, the Captain looked perplexed by your comment. Might as well be straight forward, “My name’s Y/N.”

“Steve Rogers.” He held out his hand and you gladly shook it. You honestly didn’t realize he had a normal name instead of just being called ‘Captain’. Hopefully he didn’t feel you shaking nervously. 

The elevator dinged and the two of you stepped inside. Now it was really just the two of you. You looked at him up and down. He caught you and you jerked your head away hoping he didn’t really see you. He smirked, “I take it you’re a fan?”

“A bit.” No, not just a bit, but you didn’t want to seem weird. “I’m a fan of the Avengers, but I swear I’m not making up being Tony’s kid to meet you guys if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking that at all,” Steve smiled, “I’m just happy that you aren’t the type of fan that bombards us on sight.” 

You looked at him concerningly, “Some people don’t actually do that, do they?”

“You’d be surprised how many times it’s happened,” The elevator stopped and opened its doors, you followed Steve down a long corridor, “people these days don’t have much respect for personal space as much as they use to.”

“Oh right, I forgot you’re from the 40’s.” You actually didn’t forget, it was on your mind this entire conversation but you didn’t want to be the first to bring it up, “What was it like back then? If it’s okay if I ask.”

Steve chuckled, “Different. Definitely different than now. New inventions, how people look and talk and act, it’s like I stepped foot on a different planet rather than sleep for seventy years.”

“I wish I could sleep for that long,” you joked, “I bet it’d be the best sleep I’ve ever had.” You looked at Steve for approval, but instead he gave a puzzled smile. You guess your joke was too soon for him.

The two of you walked down the hall lined with doors until you stopped in front of one of them. Steve opened the door revealing a wide room with a plain double bed, dresser, desk with a lamp, and chair. You stepped foot in the room and also noticed to your right a door which you assumed was either a closet or a bathroom.

“This room isn’t occupied at the moment,” Steve said, “so you can use it for however long you’ll be staying.” 

“It’s just for the night, but thank you.” Before you got comfortable you suddenly remembered your now dead phone, “Oh, I don’t suppose you guys have a charger. My phone’s dead.”

Steve pointed to the desk against the wall, “Put it face up on the surface of the desk right there.”

You looked at him questionly, but did as he said. The moment you put your phone down the desk flashed a neon blue before your phone turned on, the charging symbol on the screen turning on as well. You gasped, then looked on and around the desk to see that there were no power cords or outlets the desk was plugged in to. You picked up your phone and saw it was already on twenty percent, “Holy crap, this is the fastest I’ve seen it charge in like, ever! How did-”

“One of Stark’s inventions.” Steve smiled at your reaction, “The table has some electrical stuff to charge any electronics without being plugged in. Don’t ask me what’s in it or how he did it I have absolutely no clue. I’m still getting the hang of how video games work.” 

You laughed, “It’s techy things, got it. Thanks.”

“Let us know if you need anything.” With that Steve closed the door behind him leaving you alone in the room. 

You set your phone back down on the table to let it charge fully and went to inspect what was behind the door. As you suspected it was a bathroom, but it seemed more like a hotel bathroom than a normal one. There was a large counter with a sink in it, a huge mirror with vanity lights embedded in it was placed behind the counter. The shower was as wide with glass walls, not to mention a big bathtub right next to it. You definitely were gonna take a bath before you left in that thing.

After inspecting the rest of the room you plopped yourself on the bed and checked your phone that was now at sixty percent. You were starting to wish you could take this desk home so you didn’t have to buy a new charger every time it stopped working.

Everything you’ve seen was incredible, but you knew you couldn’t get too attached here. It was only for the night of course, and even if Tony is your dad and invited you to stay you knew you had to keep moving. Staying in one place was too dangerous for you.

You checked your phone a few minutes later, it was at eighty percent and around five o’clock. It felt like it was later in the day for how tired you were. You figured you should text Lilly and Maya now before you forgot. So you texted the group chat everything that happened today, from confronting Tony to where you were now. Several minutes went by and nothing. Usually at least one of them is on their phone and would respond. Something inside you began to worry that something bad happened to them, but you shrugged it off. Maybe they were still dealing with Lilly’s now ex boyfriend. 

You felt your eyelids begin to droop as you started to doze off from the long day you had. You thought you should get some sleep, even though it was still early. You placed your phone back on the desk and stared at the ceiling, your eyes going in and out of focus as you drifted into a deep sleep.

* * *

 

It was the same dream you have almost every other night. Everything was blurry, dark, and shades of red splattered everywhere. From the blurry images you could only see one face. His face. The same damn face that makes you regret ever being alive. He started running to you, faster and faster, you try to run away but your feet don’t move. They can’t move. Before he reaches you, you wake up.

You barely heard the knock on your door, but the moment it opened you shot up from the bed fully awake. You breathed heavily, wiping away the sweat from your face before the person could come in.

The door opened revealing Tony with a plate of something you couldn’t quite see and a glass of what you presumed was water. “Hey kid, brought some leftovers from dinner. We would’ve asked you to join but you were pretty knocked out.” He turned on the light and your eyes adjusted. 

You looked at your phone and checked the time. It was a little past nine, so you only slept for about four hours. You let out a quick yawn and stretched your arms, “Whatcha got for me?”

“Just some pizza. I didn’t know what kind so it’s just cheese.” Tony extended the plate and glass of water towards you.

You looked at the plate and back at Tony, “I’m a vegan.” You said as stale as you could. The expression on Tony’s face was priceless and you couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m kidding. Pizza’s fine, thanks.” You gladly took the plate and glass from Tony who now has a relieved yet glaring look.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Tony turned towards the door, but you wanted to have an actual conversation with him.

“Wait,” he stopped, “can I ask you a few questions?”

He turned back around and took a few steps towards you, “If it’s about your mom I already told you-”

“No, I just wanna talk.” You scooted over on the bed, allowing enough room for Tony to sit down. Getting the hint, he sat down at the foot of the bed. “So, does every Avenger live here? I swear it’s like a sitcom trying to keep up with how many of you guys there are.”

“Kardashian-esque, aren’t we?” He joked, “Not everyone. There are a few who aren’t public with their identities yet and some who do their own thing. We keep in touch from time to time, making sure the world hasn’t blown up yet.”

You nodded, thinking about how there were others out there with super abilities protecting the world. Then you thought of Thor, who wasn’t even from this planet. “What about Thor? Is he ever coming back?”

Tony looked at you puzzled, almost as if you had three heads. “You know you saw him earlier, right?” Now you gave him a puzzled look, he saw this and raised an eyebrow, “He was talking to Cap when we got here.”

You suddenly remembered the man with short blonde hair. There was no way he was Thor, “That was Thor? Last I checked he was in armor and had longer hair than I did, oh, and even had a hammer that shot lightning from it.”

“Yeah a lot happened to him while he was gone. Banner too.” Tony scratched the back of his neck, “It’s best if he explained it to you. I’m still confused even though he told me twice already.”

That settled who the blonde man was, but you were still wondering about the dark haired man. You’ve never seen him fight with the Avengers, unless it was some sort of special ops or secret missions he went on, “What about the other one? The one with black hair. Is he an Avenger?”

Tony froze, he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He thought for a minute before finally speaking, “He’s not an Avenger. He’s Loki, brother of Thor, almost destroyer of our world.” His tone went flat towards the end. 

Loki. So that’s who he was. Everything was clicking in your mind, “Was he the guy who almost destroyed New York a few years back?”

“Yep. Thor claims he’s reformed a little bit now, but after they’re done helping their people he’ll be out of here in no time.”

“What do you mean they’re helping their people?” You asked.

“They kinda sort of had to obliterate their home world with their sister on it and now all of Asgard is on Earth now.” You didn’t know how to comprehend what he said, so you just went with it, “I offered them all jobs at Stark Industries to work for a few months to get started, hopefully that goes well and doesn’t get too medieval.” 

“That’s surprisingly nice of you.” The media had always made Tony Stark seem like a typical rich guy who was all about himself, but after today you were second guessing yourself. First he invited you to stay the night after saving you from a creep, his attempt to make amends with you was stale but you appreciated it no less, and now he offered an entire city to work for him after their home was destroyed.

“I’m a surprisingly nice person.” Tony shrugged, “Just like when I tazed America’s Most Wanted back at what you called an apartment.”

A new thought emerged in your head. How did Tony know where you were to save you? “Wait, did you follow me to my apartment?”

Tony stood up, “I wouldn’t say ‘followed’, more like making sure you got home okay.” He opened the bedroom door, “Oh, and you’re welcome by the way for that.”

“I could’ve handled it,” You started to feel angry, but you didn’t want  to ruin the bonding moment the two of you had, “but thank you.”

Tony grinned, “Get some sleep. I’ll take you home first thing.” He turned and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Once again it was just you. The short conversation you had with Tony lifted a weight from your chest, but now there was only one thought in your head that you couldn’t shake. Loki was the one who attacked New York with an army of aliens, but they looked nothing like him. You could only wonder how he had that large of an army, or if he was working alone. Even if he was working alone or not, was he going to try to attack again? Thor said that he was reformed, and when you looked in his eyes you couldn’t see any malicious intent. Just his green eyes observing you, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes and the way it gleamed in the light. The rest of his face was unexplainable. His sharp cheekbones, the way his lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you. 

You couldn’t get him out of your head, so you decided to finish your dinner and check your phone again. Your phone was blowing up with texts from Lilly and Maya, mostly along the lines of how cool it was how Tony Stark could be your dad, but they also forgave you for not telling them and it was personal problems. You were relieved that they could forgive you, but you still wanted to make it up to them. Trying to get Loki out of your mind you thought of things you could do with Maya and Lilly to give them your gratitude. A few ideas sparked in your head before you drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 

The next morning you woke up from a dreamless night. You looked at your phone that read nine am. That should be a suitable time to get up and get ready for the day. You looked around the room, you almost forgot you spent the night in Avengers HQ. All of yesterday felt like a weird dream, but this all really happened. You stood up from your bed and headed to the bathroom. You undressed, hanging your clothes from the day before to air out as you turned on the shower. The cold drops soon turned warm. You let the water run down your hair all the way to your toes, removing yesterday to go down the drain. As you washed up a certain god entered your head, but you quickly dismissed it easier today than yesterday. 

You stepped out of the shower and dried yourself off, changing into yesterday's clothes as they were your only clothes you had on hand. You would’ve packed at least a pair of pajamas, but a surprise sleepover with the Avengers caught you off guard. 

You grabbed your phone and bag as you left your room, only to be greeted by Tony walking down the hallway accompanied by another man. “Good morning, Y/N. Hope you slept well.” Tony said. “Rhodey, this is Y/N, the one I told you about. Y/N, Rhodey.”

“You can call me James if you want.” He reached his hand out. You shook his hand, recognizing him as the man who flies Tony’s suit War Machine. 

You shrugged your bag over your shoulder, “I’m ready to head out whenever.” 

“Got all your things?” Tony asked, you nodded your head, “Alright, I’ll be ready in a few.”

Rhodey looked at Tony, “So soon? She can stay a bit longer, at least for breakfast.”

Tony turned to Rhodey and furrowed his eyes at his contradicting remark, “I don’t suppose why she shouldn’t.” He jerked his head for you to follow him, “Come on, I’ll get Cap to make you a smorgasbord.” You grinned, the hunger finally setting into your stomach. 

You followed Rhodey and Tony to another room. It had many sitting areas and a kitchen off to the side. There were two people in one of the sitting areas talking, and few more people in the kitchen. Your eyes gleamed as you recognized the people who filled the room.

In one of the sitting areas was Wanda Maximoff, also known as Scarlet Witch with freaky but cool powers. Next to her was Vision, another one of Tony’s creations that helps the team. In the kitchen was Banner, who you remembered from yesterday talking to the Falcon, actual name Sam Wilson. Then there she was. The woman you were ecstatic to meet from the beginning, Natasha Romanoff AKA the Black Widow. You gawked at them but quickly kept your cool to not embarrass yourself.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is everyone.” Tony waved his hand towards them.

“I already know who you guys are,” you said shakily, “it’s really awesome to meet you.” Your eyes looked at Natasha, your heart thumped in joy.

You heard the doors open again and looked to see who joined. It was Steve walking with- oh no.

“Mornin’ guys.” Tony acknowledged the two, “Y/N you might not know this man, but this is Bucky. He’s the newest addition to the team. Old friend of Cap’s.”

Your eyes were wide as your heart began to race. Bucky looked at you in familiarity,  but it looked like he couldn’t place it where he knew you from. You could tell he remembered the second his eyes went wide as he recalled. “I know you.” Bucky stated, “You’re with Hydra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and thank you all who left the kudos! I kinda know how the story will go but there are some missing spaces that I need to figure out, so it'll take a little bit in between chapters. I promise they'll be a bit lengthy to fill in the lost time!


	4. Executioner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tells her side of the story to the Avengers of her time in Hydra. 
> 
> ***WARNING: This chapter has depictions of harming children and other graphic content. Please read at your own risk.***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is one of the chapters where it'll get dark. There will be a couple other parts where it'll be this dark but the fun will come soon enough! I wrote this chapter in about four hours, it's currently 5 AM (who needs sleep), so if there's errors I'm sorry and I'll try to fix the small ones later if I catch any.

Bucky snarled his last words, suddenly everyone’s attention was on you. You looked around and saw glaring eyes, everyone except for Tony. His eyes showed confusion and betrayal. So much for that bonding moment. And it was all thanks to the Winter Soldier, the man you thought was left for dead, here and well alive.

You looked back to Bucky, his posture in the attack mode you knew too well. You didn’t want to make the situation worse, “I can explain-” Before you could say another word Bucky was on you, forcing you into a nearby wall. His metal hand reached your throat, keeping you in place. His fingers squeezed around your neck, not enough where you couldn’t breathe but enough where there will definitely be a bruise tomorrow. _If_ you lived to see tomorrow.

Fear began to consume you as his hand slowly closed around your throat, your airway little by little closing. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see everyone jump from their spots in defense and surrounded you and Bucky.

Before anyone could act any further Tony grabbed Bucky’s shoulder harshly. “That’s enough!” Tony yelled. His hand suddenly squeezed tighter from Tony’s touch, making you grunt from the pain. “Let her explain herself. We don’t know the full story.”

“You don’t, but _I_ do,” Bucky interrupted with his face still snarled, “she’s an agent of Hydra. One of the top children spies. You can’t trust her.”

Tony turned to you, his eyes began to fill with sorrow, “Tell me he’s lying.” He said softly to you.

Your heart sank as he spoke those words. You hesitated, trying to hold back tears. You couldn’t cry, you can’t cry, “It’s true.”

You could see where Tony’s heart broke the moment your words slipped your mouth. He rubbed his beard and walked away, then placed his hands on his hips as he thought. It broke your own heart seeing him feel betrayed. The two of you didn’t see eye to eye at first, however throughout yesterday you thought that even if the results were negative that you could remain friendly towards each other. But now you had doubts about everything.

Without turning, Tony said, “Was everything a lie?”

“N-No,” you choked out through Bucky’s grip, “I didn’t tell you everything, but what I said yesterday was mostly true.”

“Mostly?” Tony snapped turning towards you.

“I wasn’t lying that Aubrey Y/L/N is my mother, but I wasn’t put in foster care.” You grabbed Bucky’s cold, metal hand with yours as you tried to weaken the grip, which was practically pointless, “If you would just let go I’ll explain everything. Please. I never wanted to be in Hydra.”

Your eyes were pleading, which might’ve gotten to Tony as he said, “Bucky, put her down.”

Bucky’s head turned abruptly towards Tony, “There’s no way you can trust her-”

“I don’t.” His words hit you like a knife. And to think you two were starting to warm up to each other. “But I want to hear her side.”

Bucky released his grip on your throat. You gasped for air and coughed trying to catch your breath. Shakily, you stood up and held yourself again the wall for support until you could stand on your own. At this point everyone was interested to hear your story,  but they were still prepared to attack if necessary. “I was with Hydra most of my life,” you began, “up until a few years ago when the aliens attacked. The building I was held in at one point was completely demolished. There were no survivors, except me. I managed to dig my way out, get new clothes, pick a name for myself, and go from there. The things they did to me… make me do… I wanted to kill them all. Make them pay for what they did to me and the other kids.”     

“There were other kids?” Bruce inquired, you nodded.

“Hold up, how long were you with them?” Sam asked.

You shook your head, “Ever since I was born.” Tony’s eyes looked at you, realizing why your mother left him all those years ago.

“What exactly happened while you were there?” Steve asked.

“That’s… a longer story.”

* * *

 

Your first memories were you holding a gun. They weren’t loaded of course, but it was just to make you get use to the weight and feel of carrying one.

As you grew older, the guns grew larger and you were given different weapons. Your favorite was a butterfly knife, watching the adults train with it with grace and ease was mesmerizing. Unfortunately you weren’t allowed to use one until your hands grew large enough to hold it in one. When that time came you practised everyday, but at a price. You’d cut your fingers every so often, and everytime you did you were punished. They wouldn’t let you quit either. He wouldn’t let you quit.

One morning during training, you met a boy, a little bit older than you, but he was about your size. You learned his name was Marcus and he was transferred from another facility. The two of you quickly became friends and did almost everything together. You both trained together, had meals together, and eventually shared a room after your roommate was relocated. You couldn’t explain it at the time, but the way he made you feel was unlike anyone else. He made you smile, laugh, comforted you when you cried in secret, and made sure you ate on days when you were sick. He was also respected by the other children with his generosities. You could say he was your first crush, but you weren’t allowed to have crushes. Not because they told you, but because you knew people you cared about didn’t last long.

When you were about thirteen years old, you stumbled upon Marcus talking to some other boys. They were younger than you two were, and didn’t have the look as everyone else did who have lived here for years. Their eyes were full of life and hope, haven’t yet been tainted by the wrath of Hydra. However you couldn’t complain, you weren’t allowed to complain, but Hydra was home.

“Hey Marcus,” he jumped and quickly turned to you, “what’re you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.” He blurted. You could tell when he was lying, but he wasn’t a great liar to begin with. “I was just telling them a story.”

You raised an eyebrow, “A story? Didn’t know you could tell stories. You know what the Officer would say about make believe.”

“Not those type of stories,” he said, shooing the other kids away, “my mission stories. I just had my first mission a few days ago.”

Your eyes widened, “Why didn’t you tell me? Are they already letting us go on missions?”

“No, not everyone. They needed me for a special mission. I’ll tell you about it later, but I need to tell you something else. Meet me in the bathrooms after dinner.” With that he turned and walked the other way. You’ve never seen him act so strangely before, and special missions? They don’t allow the children to go on any missions until they were at least sixteen. Something was going on, but you guessed you were going to find out after dinner.

You sat on the metal bench, food that you’ve grown accustomed to on the tray in front of you. A plate full of chicken, broccoli, beans, and a glass of water and milk was a regular meal for everyone to keep the protein high for training. You couldn’t take a bite of a single thing, your mind was only on Marcus and what he wanted to talk about. You scanned around the cafeteria in hope that Marcus would join you, but all you could see was a room full of children in the same grey uniform. You waited for the entire dinner period, but he never showed. The speaker came on to tell everyone dinner was over and to go to your next station. You quickly scarfed down the rest of your meal, knowing if you were caught with food on your plate you would be punished. As everyone cleared the room, you made your way to the bathrooms. Usually you would be on your way to your self defense station training, but you didn’t want to wait any longer with what Marcus wanted to say.

You entered the sleek bathroom, rows of toilet stalls and sinks lined the walls until the end of the room were the showers. You walked slowly down the aisle until you looked at yourself in the mirror. You never looked at yourself, you would only glance once in a while. You studied your features, your eyes sunken from the training and how tired you were, the small scars from the weapons you practised with, but you could tell you were growing up. So much has changed within you the last few years, but you’re always too busy to notice.

“Over here.” You jumped as you heard a whisper, only to see it was Marcus hiding in the showers.

“Marcus, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weirder than usual.”

“You’re my best friend, right? So I can tell you anything?” He said in a hurry, almost like he needed to be somewhere else.

“Of course, and you’re my best friend. Which means you need to tell me what’s up.”

“I’m leaving, tonight.” Your heart stopped. This had to be a joke, right? Nobody just leaves Hydra without punishment to be paid.

“W-What are you talking about? You can’t leave! The Officer will have your neck if you did.” Your eyes began to tear up, and since it was just the two of you they flowed with ease.

“I don’t have much time. I’ve been smuggling children out for a few weeks now. The boys I was talking to today are leaving tonight and they’re waiting for me.”

You were confused, angry, devastated, your stomach began to twist on itself, making you want to throw up. Marcus saw your frustration and held your shoulders, pulling you into a hug. You allowed him to hug you, but you didn’t hug him back for a while. When you finally did you began to bawl, “How could you betray us like that? Betray me?”

“That’s why I wanted to ask you if you wanted to leave with me.” You looked up at him and pushed him away. “We could leave all of this behind. No more training, no more rules, no more orders. We can finally be free.”

“How have you been smuggling the others out?” You asked through tears.

“There’s a blind spot from the security cameras outside. I’ve managed to get the fence loose without anyone noticing. A couple miles out there’s an abandoned shed. There are others waiting for me there right now, and tonight when I leave we’re all leaving together, to tell the world the cruelties of Hydra.”

You were speechless. Those missions he’s been going on was him smuggling children out. Now he was going to smuggle one last group before he left for good. Your head was spinning, you couldn’t think of anything.

“I need an answer now.” He held your hands, looking you in the eyes.

“I…” you whispered, “I can’t, I can’t leave Hydra. I don’t want to get punished.”

“They won’t punish you anymore if we leave, together.”

Your eyes dropped to the floor, you stepped away from him, “I’m sorry. I am bounded to Hydra.”

Marcus sighed, his posture dropped as he ran his hand through his hair, “I guess this is goodbye then.” Before you knew it he leaned in and kissed you. His lips lingered for a moment before he pulled away, then he left you alone in the bathroom. You sat on your knees as you began to sob. You didn’t know whether the decision you made would be your biggest mistake ever.

You exited the bathroom nearly an hour later, running into a familiar face. His stance was tall and intimidating, you couldn't miss him anywhere, “Officer Kilcher ,” You clicked your heels together, “hail Hydra.” Officer Kilcher ran the entire facility, overseeing each and every child who lived here.

“At ease.” He responded, another man accompanied him. His intense stare made you shiver, as well as his metal left arm. “Why are you not at training?”

“I had cramps, Officer.” You couldn’t think of anything else, you haven’t even had your period yet but the other girls who did said they had intense pain in the abdomen which got them out of training for the day. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

Officer Kilcher was silent for a moment, “Go to the infirmary. Then I want you back in training extra early tomorrow.” The other man’s eyes were on you, still intense.

“Yes, sir.” You walked in the opposite direction of them, until Kilcher called you.

“The infirmary is the other way, dear.” You turned and looked at him, you swore red was filling your entire face. You nodded and briskly walked in that direction. The moment you turned the corner out of sight you began to run to your room. As you suspected, Marcus wasn’t there, and neither were the little of belongings he had. You curled up on your bed, tears streaming down once again as you cried yourself to sleep.

You awoke to the speakers blaring, ordering all children to the courtyard immediately. You sat up on your bed, from the window you could tell it was very early, the sun not out but the light of morning was visible. You rose from the bed and followed the rest of the children outside to a large field of concrete. You all stood in your designated sections in neat rows, you being third from the front somewhere in the middle. There were rare occasions where everyone was outside, making you wonder what was going on.

Officer Kilcher stepped in front of everyone, the same metal armed man from last night next to him, making everyone fall dead silent. Everyone clicked their heels in position, “Hail Hydra!”

“It has come to my attention that we have been missing a few of our comrades the last few days,” Kilcher began, “and I’m sure some of you have noticed it as well.” You could feel his eyes on you, but you stared straight ahead as you listened. “You all know that breaking rules result in punishment, but there is one unspoken rule everyone should already know that is an exception.” He lifted his hand and curled his fingers, commanding other men to bring out people with bags over their heads and their hands tied behind their back. The men brought them to their knees, removing their bags. Your breathing stopped when you saw it was Marcus and the boys he was suppose to help escape last night. The boys were crying, their faces bruised, but Marcus looked the worst. His eyes were completely swollen, dried blood stained his nose, and bruises were all over his neck and face. Your stomach twisted in knots at the sight of him. “These children,” Kilcher continued, pointing at them, “thought they could leave us. Their only home. And now they must set an example for the rest of you.”

Kilcher nodded his head to the metal armed man, and he immediately left his side, coming right at you. He grabbed your arm with his regular hand and dragged you to the front, right in front of Officer Kilcher.

Kilcher reached in his back pocket and held out a silver pistol, grabbing your hand to meet with the gun. You could feel your hand shaking as the metal touched your skin. Kilcher grabbed the back of your neck and dragged you to face Marcus, his eyes looking down. “The exception to trying to leave doesn’t result in punishment,” he announced, “it will result in an execution.” Your breath hitched, everything began to look dizzy, but you forced yourself to stand. Kilcher turned to you and placed his arms on your shoulder, one of his hands gliding your arm to hold the gun to Marcus’ head. “You know the rules, dear. You must be the one. He was your room companion, you should have known what he was doing.”

“I-I didn’t know anything about it.” You whispered, holding back tears.

“Either way, you must be the one to do it. If you don’t, I will kill both of you personally.” Kilcher tightened his grip on you as you pointed the gun at Marcus. His eyes finally looked up to meet with yours, you could read from his glossy eyes that he was trying to say everything was okay. You squeezed your eyes shut, but Kilcher shook you, “No. You must watch this.”

You let out a shaky breath, looking into Marcus’ eyes one last time before you pulled the trigger. A moment after the gun fired you heard more shots, one for each of the boys. You couldn’t hold back your tears any longer, you collapsed to the ground next to Marcus’ body as you wept.

Kilcher left your side and faced the other children, their faces still. “Let it be known if anymore of you try to escape, this will be your fate. Hail Hydra.”

“Hail Hydra!” The other children yelled, then they all left in formation inside.

Kilcher stepped towards you, holding your chin to force you to look at him “What have I told you about crying?” He asked sternly.

“Anyone who would cry…” you choked out, “would be severely punished.”

Kilcher snapped his fingers and two guards came to your side and forced you on your feet, “Take her to solitary confinement. That shall be her new room. Take her to the barber as well, let them know to give her the ‘treatment’.” He looked at you once more and smiled, “This shall be your new job now. We know about the others he has smuggled and we intend to find each and everyone of them. It will be your job to execute each one.”

Your knees began to wobble, but the guards kept you up. They escorted you away, first to the barber, where he shaved your head all the way to the skin. Next was solitary confinement, where it was a small six by six room with a single bed and poor excuse of a toilet.

Ten. That was the number of children you had to execute, including Marcus, that Hydra could find. At thirteen you were already a killer. Everytime you shot someone you cried, and every time you cried you were tortured and forced to train for several hours extra. Your meals were cut in half, and then cut in half again. You awaited for the day that they were done with you and put a bullet through your head.

There was a night where you were so malnourished you fainted and sent to the infirmary. One of the nurses had your entire medical history in a folder. There was an emergency and she quickly left to help, leaving the folder on the counter. Curious, you weakly stood as you grabbed the file. You flipped through a few pages until you found something that caught your eye. You read one of the pages that read: MOTHER - Aubrey Taylor Y/L/N, FATHER - UNKNOWN. You scanned the rest of the paper, trying to find answers to who your parents were. All you could find about your mother was she was a Hydra agent, and a good one as her ranking and status were high. There was nothing about your father, until you flipped the page and found something on the back. POSSIBLE FATHER: Anthony Edward Stark. Knowing that you had parents that were possibly out there, it was your only mission in life to find them. You needed to know that they existed, that they weren’t just some words on a page.

Several years went by, the same routine would happen anytime someone tried to escape. You grew numb to this, your tears eventually dried where you could no longer cry. You felt nothing, because you knew you were nothing but an executioner for Hydra.

You were able to gain the trust of Officer Kilcher to become his right hand woman, the metal armed man left weeks after your first kill. There were occasions where you would travel with Kilcher to other Hydra bases. One year, the two of you went to New York for a conference. The meeting was held in a building deep in the city on the first floor. You waited in the lobby by the entrance, this was the first time you had seen so many people who weren’t involved in Hydra. You secretly envied them, wishing you could be among them.

Apparently something heard your wish, as you felt the ground start rumble, everyone screamed and ran in the streets. You peered out the window and couldn’t believe your eyes. Creatures were falling from the sky, shooting buildings with the hovercrafts they were flying in. The building quaked as one of the creatures shot the structure, the ceiling began to fall in crumbles.

You were only out for a moment, you tried to reorient yourself as to what was happening. The aliens coming down, the building falling, you now noticed you were trapped. Your eyes shifted around, you could see light and you could feel your hand feel the air. You must’ve been close to the outside. With your free hand you began to dig, carefully moving each chunk of rubble as to not let any more collapse on you. It felt like hours until you were finally able to shift yourself out.

You looked back to see the damage. The entire building was completely collapsed. The room Officer Kilcher was in was in the center, there would be no way he survived. There would be no way he survived.

You were free. For the first time in years, you felt happiness.

* * *

 

“I ran as fast and far away as I could get away from the building.” You said, “After everything was done the news said there were no survivors in the building. That’s when I learned about you guys and how you saved the world that day.”

Everyone was silent by the end of the story. They were all thinking how they could make a little girl do horrible things, but they knew Hydra didn’t feel remorse, only power. You looked at everyone, all with the same, solemn expression. Everyone except Bucky, who kept the same stoic face you remember from all those years ago.

“How do you know Hydra isn’t still looking for you?” Bucky asked.

“About a year or two after I escaped, I was in the mall. There were two Hydra agents that I worked with almost every single damn day.” You looked down remembering them, “I recognized them immediately, they even looked me directly in the eye. They were just feet away, and you know what they did? Nothing. Walked right by me without a word. Do you think Hydra agents would do just let me go after everything I’ve done?”

Bucky was silent, his face confused but fell stoic once again. You crossed your arms, holding them tight against your chest. The silence was killing you, but you didn’t dare say anything until one of them spoke first.

“So what’s the plan now?” Rhodey asked.

“Plan? There is no plan.” Tony retorted, still a bit betrayed.

“Miss Y/N, could you give us a moment while we discussed this?” Steve said kindly, you could tell he felt sympathy for you. That’s not what you wanted, but you appreciated that he was calm about this.

You nodded and stepped outside, you sat down on the ground back against the wall as you tried to listen in. You only heard murmurs, no yelling, no arguments, then there was silence, followed by more murmurs.

Nearly half an hour passed until Tony stepped out and joined you on the ground. You didn’t look up at him but he was looking right at you. “Can you fight?”

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him, “What?”

“I said, can you fight?” He repeated.

“Yes. Hydra trained me to fight in all sorts of ways.”

Tony nodded, “If you can prove you’re worthy to the team, we’ll let you stay.”

Your eyes lit up but you grew confused, “You’re letting me stay? After all of that?”

“We don’t want you roaming out there before the test results come in,” he said, “so you’re staying here, with us, until then. After that we’ll go from there.”

Suddenly, you hugged Tony as tight as you could. He was surprised from the gesture he nearly fell over, but patted your shoulder as he regained his balance. “Thank you. I thought you were gonna kick me out or kill me.”

“I won’t. But Bucky is still a bit skeptical, you better convince him before he changes his mind.”

The two of you stood up and reentered the room. Everyone seemed to be at ease with you this time, except for Bucky, who was leaning against the kitchen counter. This was going to be a fun few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I swear there will be parts that aren't as dark as this, but I can't promise there won't be at least one more.


	5. Clearing The Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to get comfortable in her temporary home, but not without some fights and a question that started it all to be answered.   
> *Warning: Fight scene this chapter, nothing too graphic though.*

The first week dragged on for what seemed like forever. Most of the time you stayed put in the room you stayed the first night you arrived. 

On day one you managed to get your things from the apartment by one of Tony’s men who called himself Happy, or at least that’s what Tony calls him. You thought it was a strange name, but again, you were in a building with superheros. Maya and Lilly were shocked when Happy came into their home unannounced, making Lilly’s instinct to pepper spray him a little reasonable, granted you should have called them first to let them know he was coming over.

Happy came into your room with your two duffel bags full of things and red, puffy eyes. “Woah, what happened to you?”

“Your little friends thought I was a burglar,” he tried to glare at you, dropping the bags on the floor, “they’re lucky I didn’t make them pay for any medical bills.”

“Thanks, for my stuff, anyways.” He nodded, still irritated he walked out.

You went over to your bags and rummaged through them, making sure everything there. Most of the items were clothes since you could never afford to buy useless trinkets. However, you did keep a little snow globe from the zoo that Maya bought for you as a birthday gift along with a stuffed tiger toy from Lilly with a chain necklace around it that engraved “Stay Fierce”. You were grateful for them, but now that the Avengers knew that you use to be Hydra they could be in more danger than they already were. You made a plan that once this was over you would take your things and one of the cars and leave New York, maybe even the country. Starting a new life in a foreign place was all too familiar to you, so you would be fine with it. On the plus side, you knew five other languages so picking a country wouldn’t be too difficult. Getting out of the country was the problem.

As soon as you started thinking about where you could get your passport, you heard a knock on your door. Looking up you saw Natasha Romanoff peek her head in, “Getting settled?” She asked, leaning against the doorframe.

You tried to find your words, “Y-Yeah settled are getting bags. I mean, I’m getting my bags settles, wait, no. I mean… Yeah, I am.” Smooth.

Natasha smiled, “I’m Nat, and I know you’re Y/N. I know it’s been tough, especially with what happened with Bucky, but I know what it’s like to be part of something who thinks they’re doing what’s necessary to succeed, but you realize you need to escape.”

“You can relate with that?” You questioned. Natasha’s life was a secret to not only yourself, but for the rest of the team. She was a mystery who fought for good, which is why you admired her so much.

She nodded, “I was just like you. A child who was trained to fight and kill. They did horrible things to me, taught me that I didn’t have a place in the world, but I didn’t believe them.”

You nodded, “I never realized that’s how you became, well, you.” She gave you a look, making you quickly regret what you said, “Not-not like in a  _ bad  _ way or anything, but how tough and bad ass you are. But, you’re also doing the right thing? I don’t know how to put it in words but it just makes sense-”

“It’s okay,” she chimed in, “I understand. I think.” Natasha turned to walk out of the room, but not before looking back at you, “But if you do betray us I won’t hesitate to kill you.” Her tone was serious, but by her wink she was messing with you. Of course she meant every word of it, but only as a way to be protective of her team. You were grateful that she was trying to make you feel better about being here, how you weren’t going to be alone in this journey.

You figured for however long you were going to be here you would try and make friends with the other Avengers, including Bucky. The thought of talking to him again made your stomach tighten anxiously, so you figured you’d try him last and hopefully be nice to him whenever you could.

* * *

 

The first week you secluded yourself to your room, only to emerge to get food. Admitting your past to a group of people drained you, so you figured taking time to yourself and settling the air would be best for everyone. On the start of the second week however, you decided to explore the rest of the facility, but you couldn’t without a chaperone. 

“Do you still don’t trust me enough?” You asked Tony, tying your shoelaces.

“It’s nothing personal, just don’t want you getting lost,” he replied, looking at his phone, “be grateful it’s not Happy, he’s not much of a tour guide type. Plus he’s still a bit pissed from your roommate incident.”

You raised an eyebrow, surely you thought it was going to be him. “Who is it then?”

“That would be me.” As if on cue a woman with red hair up in a bun and wore a white business suit stepped next to Tony. You had no idea who she was, but you knew she wasn’t an Avenger.

“Y/N, this is Ms Pepper Potts.” Tony said, placing a hand on Pepper’s shoulder, “She will give you the grand tour of the building.”

“Why? So I don’t snoop around later?” Your gut was telling you that Tony had little faith to let you roam the building alone. Even though your main goal was to gain the trust of the team, Tony was top on your list. Him thinking that you can’t be by yourself outside of your room hurt, but you had to please him somehow.

“Snoop all you like,” he said, “we don’t keep a lot of secrets. At least not easily.”

You nodded, then looked at Pepper, “Okay, I’ll go with her.” If you wanted to gain his trust, maybe going with Pepper willingly without a fight could do that. “And I wasn’t gonna snoop around in the first place.” 

“You two are going to get along great.” Tony kissed Pepper on the cheek, “I’ll see you tonight, if you need anything I’ll be in the lab with Banner.”

Tony left you with Pepper, who was typing away at her phone. The two of you were silent while she typed. Not sure what to do, you played with the hem of your shirt until she was done. 

“Alright Y/N,” Pepper said, finally breaking the silence, “so we have about two hours before I need to be back in New York for a meeting. So we need to get going so you can see everything.” She smiled and stepped into the hallway, then stepped to the side to allow you through. 

You walked next to her down the hallway, her heels clicking against the hard floor. She was walking briskly, forcing you to take quicker steps to keep up with her. The walk was silent, so you thought if you got on her good side it would let Tony trust you more.

“So, you and Tony?” You asked, not sure what else to say.

“Oh, yeah. A few years now.” Pepper said, snapping out of her focused demeanor. She held out her left hand that showed off a shiny ring with a large diamond on it, “He actually just proposed last month.”

Your eyes widened at the sight of the ring. You leaned in closer to get a better look, “Well, congratulations for the two of you.” Thinking that Tony found love with someone other than your mother made your heart ache. Your life could have been so much different if your mother stayed that night. She would have woken up in his arms, slowly fall in love, then nine months later you would be born. The three of you could have been a happy family. No Hydra, no secrets, no mysteries. Your life would make sense. Instead, you’re here trying to figure your life out, while your possible father is planning a future with another woman. You didn’t hate Pepper of course. It wasn’t her or Tony’s fault your mother left that night. One way you were going to get your answers so you could finally move on with your life.

The two of you eventually made your way to a large room filled with gym equipment. You figured it was where everyone trained as the room was rather large enough to be a public gym. At the end of the room was a balcony overlooking an arena like area about thirty feet below. 

“This is the training room,” Pepper said, walking you down to the balcony, “down there is where everyone spars against each other for practice.” 

You peered over the railing and saw two people fighting each other already. The bodies were moving so fast you couldn’t tell who it was at first, but the closer you looked you recognized one of the people was Natasha, who looked like she was fighting Steve. The two were in sync, when one threw a punch the other blocked, the moment the other block they would swiftly attack instantly, forcing the other to block. The cycle repeated again and again, to you it almost looked like a dance performance the way Natasha and Steve moved with each other. Well, more of a violent dance performance. Nonetheless, the two moved in rhythm and responded to each other’s offensive and defensive movements. 

At one point Natasha had Steve pinned, but he quickly countered her attacked until they were at a standstill where neither of them could do anything. They shook each other’s hand and left through a door taking the stairs to where you and Pepper were.

“Oh, afternoon Y/N, Pepper.” Steve said as they entered the room. Natasha threw him a towel while wiping herself off with another one. “Showing her around today?”

“Yes, and we were just about to leave. Kind of on a tight schedule, hope you can understand.” Pepper’s tone was friendly yet tense, you could tell she was a busy woman who rarely took breaks.

Steve smiled to you, “I don’t want to keep you delayed, so hopefully we’ll see you at dinner tonight?”

“Only if the rest of the team allows it.” You shrugged, “I don’t think they’re too comfortable on me being here.”

“It’s weird, can’t lie, but they’ll come through.” Natasha noted, leaning against one of the machines, “It’ll take some time. Everyone here has a part of their past they’re not proud of, doesn’t make you any different.” That thought lingered in your head. Everyone had a story of how they became who they are, and most of the team had a bad rep in the past. Tony’s company use to sell weapons, Natasha was a Russian spy, hell even Bucky and Wanda were with Hydra. Bucky didn’t have a say in it, but it’s not like you had a choice either.

Just then, Bucky entered the room with a gym bag over his shoulder. The last person you wanted to see, and you could tell he was thinking the same thing. His mood shifted when he saw you and silently placed his bag down from his shoulder to his hand, eyeing you. “You’re still here.” He stated in a bleak tone.

“Bucky…” Steve warned as you held your tongue. How could he still be bitter, you’ve been avoiding him for days and he still wants to attack you. 

“We were just leaving.” Pepper said, trying to settle the atmosphere. 

Bucky shifted his bag and tossed it on to a bench, taking out wraps for his hands. Or at least his human hand. He wrapped his palms and knuckles in silence, yet his movements were harsh with each wrap until he spoke, “The sooner, the better.” His eyes glared at you as he finished, grabbing his bag in an attempt to move to another area in the training room.

Without thinking you grabbed a nearby towel and threw it at the back of Bucky’s head. “We’re not done here.” You snapped, almost regretting what you’ve done as he stood there in a stiff posture. The others stood there unsure of what to do. You’ve angered the beast.

Bucky slowly turned and glared at you with dark eyes while he bit his bottom lip in irritation. “And what’s that supposed to prove?” He said in a sarcastic yet hostile tone. 

You huffed and glanced at the arena, giving you an idea. If it’s a fight he wants, it’s a fight he gets.

“I’ll make you a deal,” you pointed at the pit, “you and me fight down there. If you win, I’ll pack my bags and leave right now. If I win, I stay  _ and  _ a handwritten apology from you.”

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Natasha questioned with worry in her voice.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “Fine.” With that he turned away down a flight of stairs, which you assumed was where he was about to get ready for the fight. Now you wondered what you’ve gotten yourself into.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Steve asked as he grabbed your shoulder, “I’m not doubting your skills, but he’s not gonna hold back any punches.”

“I know, that’s why I won’t either.”

“Y/N we don’t have time for this.” Pepper placed her hands on her hips, clearly showing her frustration. 

“It won’t take long, I promise.” 

“Yeah, because you’ll get yourself some broken bones in two seconds.” Natasha interjected. You couldn’t tell but her concern for you was authentic.

“I know what I’m doing, trust me.” At least that’s what you kept telling yourself.

* * *

 

The next thing you knew you at one end of the arena while Bucky was at the other. You were still in your t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers while Bucky was in his training gear of a long sleeved black shirt, workout pants, and shoes. Usually you would be ready for anything, but in the moment you only thought that you were a bit under dressed. Nonetheless, you were going into a fight, not a party.

Bucky stretched his neck, his muscles tensing as he did so. You’ve fought bigger guys than him, but he was of course the Winter Soldier. He was a trained soldier with a metal arm that could crush bones. You couldn’t let that thought get into your head now. You needed to focus.

Above you heard the crackle of an intercom, “Make it a clean fight, and  _ please  _ don’t kill each other.” You heard Steve say from the observation room that was high above with a large glass window.

Your breath slowly went in, then went out sharply as you took your stance as you were ready to fight. Didn’t matter much when Bucky took several steps towards you, making the first attack with a swing from his metal arm. You ducked out of the way, his fist barely contacting you. When you avoided his punch he threw another with his other hand quickly which caught you off guard, forcing you to stumble backward toward the wall. He followed you to throw another punch, this time you managed to block him with your forearm that opened up the opportunity for you to kick him in the side. The blow pushed him back a couple of feet, but he quickly shrugged it off. You threw another kick, to you unknowingly allowing him to grab your leg bringing the two of you close. By instinct you threw your free leg over his shoulder, then you twisted your hips to make him fall to the ground. 

On the ground he managed to grab you with his metal arm to throw you on the ground. He was now pinning you, yet you somehow were able to knee him off. Before you could get away, he grabbed you with his metal arm again, this time holding you tight with his arms. You squirmed under the pressure of the metallic arm, and you tried to free yourself but it was no use. How could you get out of a hold that was artificial? He didn’t have any pressure points on that arm. That’s when you thought to hit not directly on his metal arm, but right next to hit.

You kicked him on the side of his ankle, his grip weakening allowing you to free your arm so you could elbow right after where his metal arm met his shoulder. Bucky grunted as he fully released you. His nerves must be more sensitive there, giving you the advantage. You grabbed the same spot and swept his feet from under him, once again the two of you on the ground. This time you placed as much pressure on that spot as you could while your legs and other hand gripped his other pressure points to keep him down.

“Why do you think I’m the enemy?” You questioned as he tried to break free, “I know I worked with the bad guys, but remember you did too! So you’re at fault as much as I am.”

Bucky refused to meet your eyes, but your words clearly hit him.

“Is this some way of punishing me for it?” You continued, holding down harder, “By exposing me in front of the people who I look up to? Or trying to make me look like scum who enjoyed murdering those children? Believe me, I already feel like shit for that. But it doesn’t mean I’ll let someone at the same level as me make it worse.”

Bucky stopped trying to escape and finally looked at you. You released your grasp and backed away, the two of you sitting on the cool matted ground.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky muttered.

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry. I know exactly how you feel.” Bucky rubbed his hands together while he looked down, “ I still think about everything they’ve made me do. I thought by joining this team I could forget all of that, I even got my best friend back. Every goddamn day I try to redeem myself from the past, like it would somehow fix everything. But then you showed up, and I thought you were going to ruin everything I was trying to build back up.”

You stared at him in disbelief. The Winter Soldier was apologizing to  _ you _ , a commoner compared to his legendary status. In the time that you knew him during Hydra he wasn’t a man of many words. For him to open up to you must have taken a lot for him to do, and with that you could only give him your respect.

You struggled to stand up from your soon to be bruises but managed to get on your feet. You offered your hand to Bucky, who cautiously grabbed it thinking you were going to go for round two. You helped him up and patted him on the shoulder in a silent thank you.

* * *

 

You and Bucky went back upstairs to the training room where Natasha, Steve, and Pepper were waiting. Steve looked the most relieved out of the three while Natasha couldn’t help but let out a sly smile, however by the way Pepper was pacing she wasn’t too pleased with your stunt. You were expecting a stern talk from her, but to your surprise she kept what she really wanted to say to herself.

Instead, all she said was, “We are way behind schedule now. Let’s get a move on.” Pepper turned on her high heels and was off before you could comprehend what she said. 

You stumbled on your feet to follow Pepper as she briskly walked down the hall. You looked back at Bucky who nodded to you. You were dreading to confront the Winter Soldier for days. After what just happened you were relieved, as if the pit that’s been in your stomach finally lifted.

You and Pepper briefly skimmed other rooms before arriving to the labs. Not a singular lab, multiple labs. “Here are the laboratories where we do mostly research and tests for new tech.” Pepper explained as the two of you observed through the windows, “There are a few rooms for a variety of researches, productions, medical, clinical, mechanical, pretty much anything you can think of to help create new devices for missions. The tech is suppose to be for the team, but Tony likes to keep some of his toys to himself.” 

You were baffled how many rooms there were just to make gadgets. Even the Hydra base you lived in didn’t have as many rooms for research as the Avengers did. Although you were only aware of two rooms at your base; one was for tests on new weapons, while the other was for tests on the children. Who knew what the other bases held for “research purposes”. 

Pepper opened one of the glass doors and the two of you entered the lab. Inside were numerous machines that you had no idea what did what. The only thing you could identify was a microscope, which you were quite proud of for that. 

Observing one of the machines was an older man in plaid wearing a lab coat. He looked up and smiled with a toothy grin to Pepper, “Miss Potts! Glad to see you decided to visit,” the man looked to you, “I see you brought a friend.”

“This is Y/N, she’s our guest. Y/N this is doctor Erik Selvig, he’s an astrophysicist.” 

“Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand, “Not to sound rude, but why do you guys need and astrophysicist?”

Erik and Pepper looked at each other, “There are some things not from our planet,” Erik chimed in, “like Vision, the gem in his head isn’t from here. Or the attack on New York a few years ago.”

You nodded, “Then I guess we’ll need all the physicists we need.” 

“We’ll leave you to your work, Erik.” Pepper walked away before you noticed, making you turn on your heel to catch up with her. You waved goodbye to Erik while you two walked out of the lab. 

“So, are we almost done?” You asked when you finally caught up to her.

“There’s one more stop we need to go to.” Pepper and you arrived at the end of the hall. This door was different than the others, instead of glass the doors were a white metal. Pepper pulled out a card and scanned it against a box on the doorframe, blinking green as it accepted the card. 

She opened the door and the two of you stepped in, the room was vast with a platform in the center and had a second floor with a railing overlooking the rest of the room. On the second floor were computers and, again, more machines you were oblivious to. There were two men in the room that you found were Tony and Banner, Tony was on the platform in front of a hologram chart while Banner was on the second floor. 

The moment you and Pepper entered the room the men moved their attention to the two of you, “Glad you could join us. We’re just doing a science project.” Tony waved his hand and the hologram disappeared. 

“And by ‘we’ he means himself,” Banner interrupted, “I’m currently working on your DNA test.”

“Anything yet?” You asked as he walked down the stairs.

“Getting somewhere, but it’s not as easy when it’s just one person.” Banner looked at Tony approvingly.

“I have my own homework to work on, I’ll buy you a coffee for all your hard work.” Tony winked, stepping over to Pepper, “Dinner still on after your meetings tonight?”

“Hopefully, as long as Y/N’s performance didn’t set my schedule back.” Pepper snided. 

Tony looked at you bemused, “What did you do?”

You rubbed your heel against the floor, avoiding eye contact with them, “I kind of, sort of, got into a fist fight with Bucky.” You mumbled. 

Tony’s eyes grew wide while Banner poked his head up from behind the computer, “You did what?” Banner asked.

“We figured everything out, it’s no big deal.”

Tony didn’t say anything, his hand was covering his mouth while his eyes stared at you. You didn’t know what was going on in his head. Maybe this was how you’ll end up being kicked out.

“Did you win?” He eventually asked.

“Tony!” Pepper exclaimed in disapproval.

“It was sort of a tie, but I did.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow in surprisement, nodding his head in acceptance, “Good. If you turn out to be a Stark, you have to know that we don’t take kindness to losing.” He chuckled, giving you his signature Tony Stark side smirk. Then he looked at Pepper glaring at him, “But that was very stupid, and you shouldn’t be picking fights to prove a point.” His voice was serious but he winked at you, knowing that everything was going to be okay and you wouldn’t get in trouble.

“Speaking of being a Stark…” Banner held up a tablet emitting a hologram, “Congrats kid, you have quite a few years of child support coming your way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of a Bucky chapter, but I promise Loki will come in the next chapter! I don’t know why but I had no motivation to write this chapter since it’s more of a filler to get to the next part. Sort of like writing point B when you want to get from point A to C. Also writing the fight scene was harder than I thought which is weird since I did martial arts for six years, most of it being competing. Better done than said I guess.  
> I also wanted to try and get this chapter done since I'll be gone for ten days next week, limiting my time to write. But don't worry! You'll get your Loki fix in no time.


	6. Change of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living with the Avengers was never part of your plan, but life changes every minute. Having a demigod live in the room across from you was never part of your plan either.

Living with the Avengers was never part of your plan. You wanted to meet Tony Stark, find out if he was your biological father, and then head out of town to finally move on with your life. New York didn’t have anything left for you, and you didn’t have anything to offer New York. You had the pleasure of having Maya and Lilly accept you along with Tony letting you stay with the team. But none of it felt right. You didn’t deserve such a luxury, at least that’s what’s been implanted in your head.

When you first told Tony that you were leaving he wouldn’t have it. It was right after Banner revealed the test results. 

“So now you’re just gonna leave like that?” Tony asked crossed arm as he watched you pack your bags. 

“Just like that. I have to move on.” You barely folded your clothes, basically shoving them into your bag. You didn’t care much for wrinkled clothes, just having them made you feel fortunate. “I don’t have anymore business here. And I’m sure that me leaving will give you less grey hairs than you need.” 

Tony rubbed his fingers through his hair, feeling partially insecure by your comment, “Are you going back to live with your friends in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood?”

“No, but I’m stopping by to say my goodbyes to them. I don’t know where I’m going. Paris always seemed interesting to me, maybe I’ll start there.”

He couldn’t believe what you were saying. You two didn’t know the other existed until you went searching for the truth. And now that you had it you were going to skip town and pretend this never happened. The more you thought about your plan the more you were doubting yourself. But you couldn’t let doubt cloud your mind. Lingering on to the past would slow you down from moving on with whatever life you could live.

“Please, Y/N, just hear me out,” Tony said, “I’m sorry about your mother, and I’m sorry about all the shit you had to go through. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to be a-... a father. I want to make it right. I genuinely want to make up for lost time. If you feel like you need to move on, be my guest. But at least stay for a little while to make up for an ounce of the time.”

You hesitated from grabbing any more of your clothes. Did Tony actually want to waste his energy to be your dad? You could finally have a family that you’ve dreamed of being apart of. However, everyone you got close to ended up getting hurt. On the other hand, these were the freaking Avengers. If what Tony said was true, he would know the risk of getting close to you.

“Okay.” You spoke softly, “I’ll stay, but just for a week while I think my plan through. Plus I kinda want to ride in one of the jets.”

Tony smiled, “If you don’t push your luck, maybe you’ll get to fly one.”

* * *

 

A week turned into two weeks, which turned into a month. Your room had more decorations in it than it originally had, making it officially yours. The plan you developed was kept in the back of your head, but was rarely brought up. The rest of the Avengers were fine with Tony’s idea of you moving in, even though you still kept a fair distance away from them. However, your fear of getting too close was overpowered from your inner fan girl wanting to get to know each and every member.

You found yourself talking to Wanda and Natasha the most as well as Vision. The reason being this was probably because they were the only other women other than Pepper in the entire building. With Vision he was always around Wanda since they had a thing together. You weren’t sure how that worked, but who were you to judge. 

One day you were having a conversation with Vision and Wanda while they were making dinner. Some sort of Sokovian dish that Wanda had as a child. “Pass me a knife, Vis?” Wanda was putting together a concoction of vegetables that would make a rabbit die and go to heaven. The vegetables along with the aroma of spices in the air made you hungrier by the minute.

“When will dinner be ready? It smells amazing.” You said, sneaking a piece of carrot to snack on.

“Shouldn’t be long. You and Vision can set the table.” The plates and silverware came out of the drawers with a swirling red mist surrounding it from Wanda’s magic. Her powers still baffled yet intrigued you. It was something that looked graceful but could do so much damage.

You and Vision grabbed the plates and began setting the table. While placing the silverware you looked at the gem on his forehead. You were told that the gem was something called an infinity stone and he was created from Thor, Tony, and an evil robot named Ultron. It was a weird combination, but Vision didn’t seem bothered by it.

“So Tony said that he helped create you.” You said, placing the last fork down.

“That is correct. He placed his AI in the cradle that created my body, while Thor’s power brought me to life.” Vision gave a small smile. It wasn’t like he was uncomfortable talking about it, but it was as though he didn’t know how to talk about how he was created. 

“And the gem thingy?” You pointed to your forehead.

He grazed over the stone with the lightest touch, “I really don’t know. All I’m aware of is that it is apart of me, and I am apart of it.” His tone turned melancholy, almost embarrassed that he had no clue what was sticking out of his head.

“Since Tony helped create you, I guess that means we’re half siblings.” You smiled, trying to change the topic.

Vision smiled back, even letting out a laugh. “Yes, I suppose we are.”

“Technically I’m the older sister since you’re just a few years old. Literally.” You playfully pushed him on the arm. “So I get to be in charge of you.”

Vision couldn’t help but widen his smile, “Fine, but I can still easily beat you in a fight.”

“I know.”

The doors opened to Bruce jogging in, his expression a mixture of eagerness and worry, “They’re back.”

* * *

 

You followed the others to the main entrance where the rest of the team was greeting the two men you saw the first day you arrived. You recognized Thor immediately as he was wearing his Asgardian suit of metal and dark leather. Completing the look was his signature red cape. All that was missing was his even more signature hammer and long golden locks.

Without realizing it your eyes gazed to the one in green and black sauntering next to his polar opposite. Loki wore a similar garb of Thor, except his was nearly all black and green with accents of gold. You thought he looked better in what he was wearing over his black suit. Where did that thought come from?

You didn’t expect the alien-gods to look so, well, regal. But of course they were princes where they were from. Should you bow out of respect or call them highness's? They didn’t seem to mind that you didn’t the first day, plus you noticed everyone else was greeting them nonchalantly. But they all already knew each other, since you were new you should probably-

“Hey kid, get a chance to talk to hotshot and not-shot yet?” Your thoughts were interrupted by Tony patting you on the back. His hand remained on your shoulder as he guided you towards Thor and Loki, who were speaking with Steve and Natasha. Thor was doing more of the socializing while Loki stood cross armed as if he were a teenager on a trip he didn’t want to go on. You couldn’t blame him, the first few weeks you avoided everyone as much as you could and thought about abandoning your plan and going back to the apartment. Even now you still felt awkward around the team, especially when you accidentally embarrass yourself in front of your heroes. 

Before you knew it you were standing in front of the gods, their attention all on you. You froze with doe eyes as you couldn’t think of what to say. All you could do was stare at the tall men from another world. Thankfully Tony’s quick wits came through.

“I believe you’ve met briefly before, but this is Y/N. My daughter.” This was the first time you heard Tony introduced you publicly as his daughter. You would show your appreciation if you weren’t frozen from the presence of demigods.

Thor’s eyes brighten from the newfound information, “Ah, a pleasure to properly meet you,” he took your hand and lightly pressed his lips to your knuckles, making you blush fiercely you were afraid everyone would notice, “I never knew you had children, Stark.”

“I didn’t know either.” Tony let out a single laugh, obviously confusing Thor, but he smiled along. Loki, on the other hand, remained stoic and unnerved from the conversation. The only thing that changed were his eyes, which were placed on you just like the first day. Again, he was studying you, trying to figure you out with his piercing green eyes. You studied him in return out of the corner of your eye. He stood tall and confident, yet placed himself slightly behind his brother instead of next to. Why?

Your vision moved from his body towards his face. His eyes were relaxed, yet his jaw was clenched. Loki must feel tense in a room full of people who fought (and defeated) him years ago. Moving from the jaw you noticed his cheekbones, sharp and defined. From his cheekbones you followed them to his lips. You couldn’t help but linger your gaze on them. Wait, stop, what the heck are you doing? Your eyes slowly moved to his eyes, not only were they intense, but they held something soft in the vast green irises. You snapped back to reality when you realized you accidentally made eye contact with him, forcing you to jolt your head away as he snapped his gaze elsewhere. 

“So, what do you think?” Tony said, his attention changing from Thor to you. You didn’t realize they were talking this entire time.

“What? Sorry I zoned out for a second.” You replied.

“Takes after her father, I swear.” Tony said in a joking tone, “I said after we all eat, you can help me test out some prototypes on a couple of suits.”

Your eyes lit up, but Loki’s stare made you hide your excitement, “Actually, as awesome as that sounds, I might head to bed. It’s been a long day.” You weren’t lying, there were multiple times a day where if you were in a position of a large group setting or you conversed too long you would feel drained. “I promise I can help you tomorrow.”

“Fine, leave the old man to do all the work.” Tony smirked, “Get some rest, kiddo.”

“Again, it was a pleasure to meet you, daughter of Stark.” Thor grinned ear to ear.

You turned around and waved goodnight to everyone, when suddenly you found your eyes locked with Loki’s once again. This time, you swore you saw a small smile form from his lips.

* * *

 

You dried your hair as you put on your pajamas after slipping out of the large bathtub. The tub was your favorite thing in the facility, since the apartment didn’t have one and you grew up without the luxury. You slipped on some slippers and brushed your hair free of tangles. Reaching for the toothbrush and turning on the faucet, you heard the sound of two men outside of your room bickering. No doubt one of the men was Tony.

Setting your toothbrush down you made way to the door, opening it to find of course Tony and Steve just outside, but to your surprise Loki was with them as well, “Oh, sorry if we woke you up, Y/N.” Steve said, facing away from a pouting Tony.

“It’s fine, I was just about to go to bed.” Your eyes glanced towards Loki, you really needed to stop doing that, “What are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing, just a little argument from mommy and daddy.” Tony said in annoyance, clearly he was losing the fight.

“Tony doesn’t want to put Loki in the room across from yours.” Steve stated, “He’s afraid he might do something to you.”

“I’m not afraid, I know she can kick his ass,” Tony glared at the black haired demigod, who just stood there squinting his eyes to Tony, “I don’t like the fact that this psycho will be sleeping twenty feet away from my kid.”

“If you know she can defend herself, then why are you worried?” Steve asked, leaving Tony without a witty comeback for once, “There’s no other rooms, and it’d be a hassle to ask someone else to give up their room and move all of their things.”

Tony’s jaw clenched in aggravation, knowing that Steve was right made him uneasy, so you knew you had to soothe the situation, “Tony, I’ll be okay. It’s no big deal, really. If he tried anything funny, I’ll break his legs.” Loki tilted his head at your comment, almost in a challenging way. Of course you meant it, if he tried anything with you he’d be with two broken legs. Very long, slender legs- Stop. Get that out of your head.

Tony sighed in defeat, “Okay, okay. But I’m putting up extra security throughout the building.” He took a step towards Loki, trying to intimidate him, “For precaution.” Tony then turned around, walking down the hall, probably back to the lab.

As soon as Tony was gone you smiled to Steve and entered your room. As soon as you shut the door you leaned against the wooden material. Tony was right, there was a psycho just twenty feet away. However, that statement could go both ways. What you’ve done didn’t deserve redemption. 

You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes tightly to block out the memories. You stood up to finish your nightly routine before plopping down onto the soft bed, wrapping yourself in the warm sheets, and closing your eyes to await for sleep to come.

But sleep didn’t come. All you could think about was your interaction with Loki. Why were you thinking about this? What makes him so special besides the fact that he led an alien war on to New York? And, also that he was technically an alien himself. You couldn’t shake the thoughts until you realized you never even said a “hello” or a “hi”. You shot up from the bed, knowing that sleep won’t be coming for a while until you made your introduction. It had only been an hour since you last saw him and it was still early, hopefully he was still awake. 

Stepping into your slippers you stood from your bed. You crossed your room to open your door into the hallway. The next thing you knew you were found face to face with his door, just a few feet from your own. Steadying your breath you knocked on his door. No answer. You knocked once more. Still, no answer. The third time mid-knock the door cracked open to reveal Loki, still in his Asgardian attire. Again, his face stoic and emotionless, barely unfazed from your unexpected visit.

To try and lighten the mood, you put on a smile, “Sorry to bother you, but I didn’t really get a chance to say hi or actually introduce myself. You already know my name- And uh… I already know your name. But I wanted to welcome you to the facility.”

You tried your best to keep your smile while all that changed in Loki’s expression was a raise in an eyebrow. Suddenly he smirked, and it wasn’t your imagination this time. Before you could say anything more the door shut in your face. Now it was just you and the door, once again. You could feel your cheeks burn from embarrassment. Did you say something wrong or upsetting? Maybe he wasn’t the person that appreciated a welcome wagon. This was going to be a lot of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FI-NA-LLY I managed to finish this chapter. Sorry for the wait, for I'm super super busy with classes, plus the beginning of this chapter left me with so little motivation, so expect me to be posting maybe once a month (maybe twice if we're lucky). But I hope you enjoy and thank you all who have left a kudos and kind comment!


	7. So Much For Companionship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wants to try and befriend Loki, but turns out he's a bit more difficult than expected.

The next day you woke up with a to-do list fresh in your head. 

First, you were going to fulfill your promise to Tony by helping him with his prototypes. He’s been working on new gear the last month for the team, he wanted you to jot notes down and maybe try one of the devices that won’t blow you up. 

Secondly, you wanted to try and decipher your new neighbor, find out what it was that made him so mysterious. You could go with the direct approach, but you didn’t want to seem like an idiot and bug him. Perhaps inching your way little by little into his circle you could eventually discover more about the tall, dark haired demigod. 

Before you could check anything off of your list, your stomach begged for something to eat. You changed into a new set of clothes for the day while sending continuous text messages to Lilly and Maya about the deity next door. Their response was what you would’ve expected, with them wanting to meet him and if he was cute. You rolled your eyes and made your way to the kitchen for some breakfast. 

There you found the god of thunder drinking coffee from a mug that looked puny with his hand wrapped around it. Thor grinned ear to ear the moment he saw you walk through the doors, “Good morning, daughter of Stark!” He boomed, taking a sip from the tiny mug. “I hope you rested well.” 

“Morning.” you forcefully smiled, you didn’t want to tell him of you and his brother’s awkward encounter the night before. You mentally cringed at yourself for going to Loki’s room in the first place. Speaking of which, looking around the room you didn’t see Loki, or frankly anyone else. It was just you and Thor, the god of thunder. This moment sparked an idea, since Thor grew up with Loki he could tell you everything you wanted to know about this god of mischief living next door. 

“So, how are you and your brother adjusting here?” You asked, nonchalantly. You didn’t want to appear desperate.

“It’s been splendid!” Thor beamed, “I learn something new about your people’s way of life everyday. Yesterday, Stark showed me this thing called an ‘app’ on my cellular phone where I can match these small, colorful candies and they explode if I match certain ones.” The look on his face when he explained something as simple as Candy Crush made you smile, it was like watching a toddler discovering their reflection for the first time. “As for Loki, he’s taking it steadily. It has not been easy since his first visit here was… unpleasant.”

“Right, with the whole alien invasion thing. Why’s he staying here then? These people kind of did fight  _ and  _ defeat him.”

“Wasn’t entirely his choice,” Thor’s smile slowly descended, yet he still kept his positive vibe and attitude, “since my people have been here, Loki and I have tried our best to get them settled in and accustomed to your culture. We are no longer a kingdom, but I will still visit at the end of the month to make sure everyone is sustaining. I entrusted my good friend Heimdall to keep watch over my people while I help here. After we were done, I wasn’t sure of what to do with Loki. Obviously I couldn’t let him roam on his own, for he is technically a war criminal on this planet, yet I don’t wish to see him locked in prison for eternity. I spoke with Stark and Rogers and they both agreed to keep him here where he will be watched closely but have some freedom.”

“Yet they will still treat me as a prisoner.” A voice broke between you and Thor. There stood the god of mischief in his black and green Asgardian attire, “Pardon me if I’m interrupting your gossip about me, brother.” This was the first time you heard his voice. It was smooth with a touch of roughness when he spoke certain syllables, his accent similar to his brother’s.

“We were not gossiping, Loki, lady Y/N was simply asking about our adjustment to her society.” 

Loki looked at you as if he didn’t realize you were there in the first place. His green eyes shifted up and down examining you, “The daughter of Stark. I expected something,  _ different _ , when I first heard Stark had a child.” The way he spoke was almost demeaning, as if he was deliberately trying to demoralize you. 

“What kind of different?” You questioned.

Loki let out a single, breathy laugh, “All mortals are pathetic, but there are few who have exceeded my expectations since my first arrival, including Stark. I would imagine that if he were to have any offspring they would live up to his degree of glory, but I was mistaken. Underwhelmed, as a matter of fact.”

Your blood started boiling in your veins. Who did he think he was to say those things to your face? Loki’s a prince, big whoop. He’s not on his planet now, you’d think that he would have a little more respect to the inhabitants, especially the one across the hall. It took every ounce of your mental and physical state to not sock this guy on the nose. Instead, you clenched your jaw and grabbed your favorite cereal from the cupboard with more force than you intended to. You didn’t care, you continued to get the bowl and spoon while you tried to calm yourself down and ignore Loki’s comments.

“Loki, remember, we are guests. There is no need for such words.” Thor tried to alleviate your anger by taking your side, except it would take a lot more than a stern talk with Loki to calm you down, “These people offered you a home when you know well they could have taken you to their authorities where you would be locked away for the rest of your life. The least you can do is be polite to lady Y/N.”

Loki slowly shook his head, giving Thor a disapproving look, “Is there a difference whether I’m in this prison or another here on Midgard? Either option I am trapped on this wretched planet.” 

You paused as you opened the refrigerator, your face hidden behind the door. He really did think of Earth as a prison. But why? From what the rest of the team told you Loki was taken back to Asgard after the attack on New York to pay for his crimes. He acted as if he wanted to be back home to serve his time, or anywhere in fact. Did he feel remorse for the devastation he conflicted all those years ago? No, that couldn’t be it. Still, you thought the same thing when you were with Hydra, desperately wanting to get rid of the cause of your greatest guilt. You didn’t care if you were sent to jail, as long as you were far away from Hydra, the facility you lived in, Kilcher, or anything that was remotely tied to your past. Loki was now stuck on the planet he tried to conquer, constantly reminding him of his own past. 

Quit it, stop feeling empathetic for him. Not even a moment ago Loki mocked you, your species, your planet- now’s not the time to feel sorry for him.

Thor glared at his brother, “Brother, you may sulk all you want, but I demand that you apologize to lady Y/N.”

Loki turned his gaze on you, lips pursed in a thin line, “My apologies…” Loki’s eyes looked down before he revealed a coy smirk, “My apologies that my brother has fallen for your filth of a planet.”

The sound of Thor smashing his mug on the counter startled you, fragments of ceramic scattering everywhere. “Loki! I swear by the-” 

If Loki was going to be difficult, might as well have fun with it. “It’s okay, Thor,” you reassured him, Loki gave you a puzzled yet intrigued look, “Earth might not be the greatest, and I might not be like Tony, but at least I get to leave the building  _ whenever  _ I want, to  _ wherever  _ I please.” You could see Loki’s jaw tighten, his eyes widen in anger and disbelief while he clenched his hand into a fist. You were able to leave the god of mischief with a silver tongue speechless. What you would do to get a picture of this moment.

You grabbed your bowl of cereal and headed towards the doors, not before giving a peace sign to the Norse gods while you used your foot to open the door. You couldn’t see it from the other side of the closed doors, but you knew that Loki would be throwing a fit. Then you realized you probably shouldn’t have pissed off the powerful being next door. So much for trying to be friendly with Loki.

* * *

 

You tried not to think about Loki or your “discussion” with him and his brother, instead you helped Tony all morning with new prototypes he’s been working on. Most of the devices were add ons for his suits, but you did get to witness a few toys for Steve’s shield like adding an extra force field like thing around it. It had a scientific name, but it was too long for you to remember even the first half of it. 

Sitting on one of the worktables, you were doodling on the notepad Tony gave you to write down what happened during the tests to the prototypes. You would take notes, but everything Tony told you to write down were scientific words not even a spelling bee champion could guess to spell it right. So instead you put down words like “ _ thingy _ ” and “ _ sciencey stuff _ ” for every word you couldn’t spell and drew poorly drawn sketches of the devices as well as random patterns along the border. 

You were so absorbed in one of your designs, you barely heard Tony call your name. “Hey, Y/N!” Tony snapped his fingers in front of your face, jolting your attention back to reality, “You alive? I’ve been rambling the last five minutes. Did you catch any bit of it?”

“Huh?” You let out, “Oh! Yeah, sorry. I guess I zoned out for. What time is it anyway?”

“Wanting to ditch class, can’t blame you.” Tony looked at his shining watch on his wrist, “It’s been a few hours, I guess we can break for lunch.”

Your stomach growled at the thought of food. Tony waved his hand at a few hologram monitors to turn them off, an idea sparked in your head, “Hey, if you want we could go out to eat. I know this great sandwich shop a few blocks from-”

“Sorry, can’t. I promised Pepper I’d meet with her and the wedding planner when I got the chance.” Something inside of you sank. You’d hope that you’d get to know your dad a bit better in an environment where he wasn’t fiddling with some device larger than a phone. “Okay… What about tonight then?”

Tony hissed in a breath of air, “That’s a no go either, got a meeting. Boring stuff for a mission, but it’s gotta be done.” He saw your obvious shift in mood, “But uh- We can raincheck, if you want.”

You shrugged in disappointment, “Sure, rain check.”

Tony was clearly oblivious to your emotions, he winked and left as if nothing happened. You understood that he was a busy person, but he was the one who wanted to connect with you. For the past month you’ve only seen him about once every other day, every day if luck was on your side. When you did see him he was still working in his head, barely paying attention to what anyone was saying, but only chimed in with a snarky Stark remark. You wouldn’t be completely discouraged that he wasn’t paying attention to you as much as you’d hoped if the rest of the Avengers weren’t busy as well. The team either went on missions, meetings, training S.H.I.E.L.D recruits, or some sort of research. At the beginning of your stay you felt as though everyone was together, like a family. With your luck you should’ve figured there was a catch to living with the world’s mightiest heroes.

You left the lab not too long after Tony to find something to eat in the kitchen, suddenly not feeling the urge to go out for food like you intended. Walking down the long corridor with only the sound of your footsteps echoing off the walls filled you with a sense of loneliness. Even though you knew there were people scattered around the building somewhere, there was still that empty pit somewhere deep inside that felt familiar. The last time you’ve felt this hollowness was when you were with Hydra when the rest of the children avoided you after you were thrusted with the role of executioner. Your peers stopped talking to you, sitting near you during meals, even went out of their way to not look at you as if you were a monster who would attack at any moment. They were right. The fact that you are a monster created by monsters was what isolated you, not only from the children, but from becoming someone else.

The sudden twinge in your chest slowed your footing, the memories of Hydra, of Marcus, flooding back. All of those children... You took a deep breath. You needed to find someone to get yourself out of your head. 

You barely remembered arriving to the kitchen, but the moment you closed the doors you felt a 

moment of relief. Until you saw who was sitting in one of the lounge sofas with a magazine in hand.

“Oh, sorry.” you told Loki, his eyes only shifting at you for a brief second before going back to his magazine, “I didn’t think anyone was here, I thought everyone was out-” his green eyes glared at you as you stopped yourself from speaking anymore. You realized what you said now and your earlier conversation, you thought it would be best to shut it entirely before making things worse. “I’ll just… get something to eat.” You shuffled away as Loki rolled his eyes, going back to the magazine. 

The kitchen was usually well stocked, but your stomach couldn’t decipher what it was in the mood for. You looked through the cabinets, drawers, fridge, nothing you saw sounded good, even your favorite leftover takeout. As you searched for your lunch, you glanced to Loki who was still silently reading. You were surprised he was out here instead of cooped up in his room like you were your first week. Maybe Thor forced him out as a start to bond with the others. Speaking of which, you thought you should try to make amends. Not that you were going to apologize since he totally started it, but an act of kindness might suffice. 

“Did you want anything while I’m over here?” You asked, taking out the bread, “I think I’ll make a sandwich if you want one.” He didn’t say a word or even acknowledged you, Loki continued to read. You looked closer at what magazine he had, “I didn’t take you for a Cosmopolitan guy.” Still nothing. “I’d think you’d be more of a TIME magazine type.” 

“I wouldn’t be reading this garbage if this prison had a decent library,” Loki snapped, “or even an actual book or two.”

“Oh.” Don’t pay attention to his attitude, play nice. “What do you like to read?” Good, small talk, that’s a start.

Loki scoffed, “As if you actually care. Did my brother put you up to this?”

You inhaled to try and keep your cool, as Loki was making this difficult yet again, “You don’t have to be skeptical whenever someone is trying to be nice to you.”

“You call mockery kindness?” He tossed the magazine on the coffee table before standing up, finally facing you, “You have a hilarious sense of humor for whatever game you’re trying to play.”

“What are talking about?” You question with folded arms.

“Don’t act so daft. One moment you act like an innocent creature, then the next you-” Loki paused, meeting your eyes with his. You could see rage building behind them, and something else? Could it be sorrow? No, it couldn’t be. Yet again, you don’t know his full story. But you do know that he was about to call you something nasty.

“Next I what? Act like a total bitch because you’re acting like a bratty kid complaining about their life?” You took a few steps towards him. Loki stood his ground as you approached, only a couple feet away from him. “You could be in a worse situation than this you know. You  _ could  _ be in prison with walls barely taller than you with no magazines or your own time to get food, or even the luxury of having a conversation, even if it’s just me getting pissed off!” You stepped closer until you were face to face with the god. You could see the details of his green eyes that are now filled with distress, his face remaining stoic. The two of you ended up in a staring contest for a few moments, both of you silent which was getting on your nerves even more, “Well? Please, say  _ something _ !”

Loki opened his mouth as if to speak, when you feel something in the air shift. Not tension, but something you couldn’t explain. Physical? Emotional? Whatever it was, something lifted around the two of you like a heavy weight on your shoulders. Was it all in your head, or did Loki have something to do with it?

Suddenly, a faint sound that you couldn’t tell what it was began to form underneath you. By the look on Loki’s face he heard it too. As the sound grew louder, you both realized the source was coming right beneath not just you, but Loki as well. A ring of what looked like yellow-orange sparks formed at Loki and your’s feet, “Not again.” Was the last thing you heard Loki breathe out before everything went dark and you felt yourself falling through the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi starlights (that's what I'm calling you lovely people for now on lol)! Sorry for the super later update, classes have gotten busy and quite a lot of personal mishaps occurred, but don't worry! I have a lot of plans for fics including this one, I'm even going to have a schedule to try and upload at least once or twice a month until I can get stabled with my irl schedule, then I could try and go for every other week. Check me out on my tumblr (@sighingstarbeam) so you can get to my other links to help support me. Thanks for reading!


	8. Update (will be deleted later)

Hi everyone! I know I haven't updated any of my fics in a while, but I'm still planning on updating this fic hopefully soon. I just graduated community college so I will have plenty of time to write outside of working.   
Another reason why I've been holding off is because I wanted to see endgame and see if that would change my ideas of how I want the story to go, and it did, at least how it will end. I have a few ideas in mind and I'm thinking that either I will post one final ending, or 3 different endings that you can choose which will be the "true" ending if I cant decide which will be the finale (all 3 will be different from one another but it'll be fun dont worry).   
Thanks for all the kind words and if you've seen endgame, it's ok we're in this together.  
<3


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